For what it's worth

This week at work, I've been especially detached. I doodle and waste time online and avoid work. I can't focus, all I want to do is not be there. We had a meeting- the 18 of us left in the office. It was billed as an "update", but it was far from it. Basically, my boss's boss shared that he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know what the future holds for us. When asked specific questions, his answer was, "I don't really know." His boss is coming down from New Jersey at the end of the month to "share his vision for the future" and an org chart which hopefully will tell us where we fit into this new organization. I realized while sitting in that meeting, that I really had no desire to go further with this company. It's a great company- but my office, and my tasks are not. We no longer have a strong leader willing to fight for us, but rather someone who is happy to wait to be told what to do. He has been in India for the better part of eight months, but has been back in the office for three weeks now. In that time, he hasn't pursued the "pages" of questions he has for his boss regarding his new role and hasn't provided us any direction in his absence. He wants us to all get along, to communicate and be open with one another- and his openness says "I know nothing". I don't function well with that and, judging by the number of people looking and interviewing, neither do a lot of us. When you only have 18 people in an office and even two leave- that leaves a pretty sizable hole.

So, I've spent the better part of the last hour online, scouring job sites for something a little closer to my heart. It was a fruitless search. I'm trying to remain positive and hopeful, but the truth is, I'm no longer certain something will arise. Perhaps it's time for me to take a risk and take my life back. But how? With what?


On a happier, er, stranger note- Each time I visited http://www.weather.com/ today at work, I got directed to the "Wedding Weather" page. I took a screenshot and sent it to C and we laughed about it, but still.. very strange. I delete my temporary files and clear my cookies every night. I wonder if it's a sign...