Draft Beer.

Dear Internet,

The time has come for the tough things to be said.

I'm getting married and you're not invited.

It's not because I don't like you or because I don't want you there- well, it kind of is. I've never ever ever wanted a big wedding. I've always pictured a very intimate gathering of family and a couple of choice friends, but nothing extravagant. Please know that I value my friendships with you and I know that if we could all get together it would be a wonderful thing, but I know for certain that the time and place for that is not my wedding. Maybe Adair's on a Thursday night, but not my wedding. I hope you can understand, because planning this "intimate affair" for a rapidly growing guestlist (since my lovely fiance wants to invite his entire regional work team) is grating on my nerves.

Last night my mother suggested a tent (briefly I thought she was suggesting it for me to WEAR), which was quickly followed with "and maybe a dancefloor and band". I had to let her down gently by saying "I'm not staying out til midnight entertaining people. All I want to do is get married!" Honestly, I don't even want a reception- but "a 6:00 wedding means food" and "we at least have to have cake". I was also told that the cake isn't for me, it's for the guests, so even though I don't even like cake, I have to have it. I suggested cheesecake instead, because I love me some of that. *Incredulous stare* followed by, "You've GOT to be kidding me." At least my mom liked that idea. She wants to do a "toppings bar" where you can top your slice with chocolate or cherries, etc. I kind of think that's a great idea, though my better half asked if we would also be having banjos and a hoedown. I'm marrying a very..... traditional kind of guy. Someone who doesn't do different very well.

So, here I sit with a notepad next to me trying to decide what kind of flowers I want (because "we need centerpieces for the tables at the reception"). I'm trying to figure out food for the reception I don't even really want. Here I thought I was doing good by finding a dress! (In my defense, I also have secured the church, pastor and a lovely photographer... which is all I thought I was going to need- WRONG).

So internet, perhaps you should be glad you're not invited to this event. Hopefully we can at least achieve the objective and then someone can slip me a valium and I can float through the evening. Just kidding... but not really.


*P.S. I thought I'd title this entry with something I do want. Desperately.