8.28.2009

Let's talk about Big Brother.

If you're not watching, you can stop reading now. But if you are- chime in, let's dish.

  • I just want to put it out there that Jeff is hot. Also, Jordan needs to stop playing hard to get.... give the boy some sugar at least!
  • I'm SO glad Russell is gone and it really makes me mad that he tried to play off his 'roid rage as a ploy to Julie. Like he was just acting.
  • Michelle is SUCH a bad liar. And a klutz to boot. And her hair is really bad.
  • Natalie. Natalie, natalie, natalie. She should've been gone a long time ago. Now she and Kevin are going to turn on Jeff and he won't even know what hit him. Here's to hoping he wises up. And she calls herself a tough competitor but she has YET to win ANYTHING. She's just a coat-tail rider.
  • Now that Kevin is HOH (seriously, Jordan- how 'bout some EFFORT in the HOH competition), I'm sure Natalie and Michelle will be even further up his ass. Ugh. I liked Kevin... til he teamed up with stupid Natalie.
  • And what the hell was up with those PINK pants Jessie was wearing in the Jury House?

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

8.20.2009

These crack me up.

Originally read here but edited.

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old..

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. (Unless you puke on them- hello Idaho!)

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

8.17.2009

Let's get it started.

  • I like to give credit where credit is due, so I'm giving credit for that picture of me in the previous post to my wonderful husband. Everytime I see it, I'm so thankful for his skills in near beheading.
  • I've got two new blogs for you. If you're not reading them, you suck. Not really, but I just discovered them in all the BlogHer hoopla and regret not finding them sooner. Here they are: BHJ and HerBadMother . Such breathtaking talent, these two.
  • My son pulled an all-nighter last night and left his father and I with only three measly hours of sleep. Sleep, wake, scream, repeat. Awesome.
  • Maybe it's the teeth. Maybe it's his congestion which kept him from his noodle (pacifier). Maybe he was just ready to wild rumpus til six seven in the morn'. In any case, I'm tired.
  • I'm now a Scentsy consultant. If you don't know what that is, they're "wickless candles" that come in delicious flavors and warmers sized for your home to your office to your car. Give it a look and take a chance! If you don't like the flavor you get, I'll exchange it for something else. (I can't tell you how long I'll do that, but for now, in the beginning, that's how it's gonna be. I aim for complete customer satisfaction.) Everything in the current Spring/Summer catalog is 10% to make way for the Fall/Winter catalog, available September 1. There are manly scents too, W.... like "Hemingway".
  • Consider Scentsy, a first step towards conquering fears.
  • Dude, I got a Dyson. It's sad when the highlight of my weekend involves a new vacuum. But man, it's sexy.
  • C and I are SO into Big Brother this year. I may have a slight crush on Jeff (along with the rest of America). Wasn't last night's episode hilarious with Chima, Natalie and Lydia CRYING over Jessie like he was DEAD? Geez. Get a grip, girls. Also, adios Chima, you crazy heifer.
  • Two cheers for the Rangers taking the lead in the AL Wildcard spot! Neftali Feliz is my new favorite pitcher to watch-- he brings the crowd ALIVE with his 100mph tosses.
  • I've officially lost 10lbs and am wearing pants I'd forgotten about which are currently a little baggy. Rock. On.

8.13.2009

Nobody's gettin' any younger...

Last weekend, we went to Baton Rouge for my brother-in-law's graduation from LSU. I wasn't really looking forward to the trip because 5+ hours in a car with a seven month old sounded more like torture than fun. But, turns out I had nothing to worry about. We kept his belly full, which in turn made him sleep- imagine that! It works the same way with me! In any case, it was a successful trip, complete with a dip in the hotel pool. He also fell asleep during graduation and on the sweaty walk back to the car- see?



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Remember when I said he had four teeth? Scratch that, there are six now. Well, technically five, with a sixth making my life a LIVING HELL until it comes through. He really is a great baby, even when teething, but damn those little teeth make him cranky. And me, since I haven't slept through the night in a couple of weeks either.

We tried YoBaby yogurt the other night and I thought he was going to leap from his Bumbo chair and attack me. I couldn't load the spoon quick enough for him which resulted in him yelling at me with his mouth open like my very own baby bird.

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Lately I've been noticing just how much I let fear control my life. Just about any idea I have gets pushed to the side in a "someday" file. Why not today? Because I'm scared. Everyone knows that taking the first step is the hardest part, yet it's always the most rewarding because it's a step towards something wanted. When did I become such a scaredy cat? When did my I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR voice turn into a kitten's meow? I'm really starting to get disgusted with myself about it, too. But then, I'm too scared to do anything about it so I might as well just get over it, right?

Wrong.

8.11.2009

Diapers.com Coupon Code



I don't know why I haven't been using diaper.com all along. It's so much cheaper than Walmart or Target and if you spend $49 or more, shipping is free and usually arrives in 2 days via UPS. All it requires is a little planning ahead... surely I can manage that, right? When I registered, they gave me a code (SSBA9569) to share- $10 off your first order of diapers. Enjoy!

8.10.2009

Blink- seven months

I don't have time for words right now, but I'm sure these will be a perfectly acceptable replacement.


TEETH! (And not just those two, either... there are two on the top, as well.