6.03.2010

Life is so surreal. 

A few short weeks ago, our office celebrated the retirement of a wonderful man who had worked for the company for 47 years.  This past Sunday, he had a heart attack.  Today, his family made the impossible decision to remove life support.  His brain had been deprived life giving oxygen for too long, their father, friend and husband was gone. 

How fleeting it all is.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.


Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.


He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.


The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good. - W. H. Auden

Seventeen Months

You are JOY, little boy. 

You live each waking hour with such zest and energy that I envy.  When I sing "diaper, diaper" (to the tune of Dora's "backpack, backpack"), you run to our bedroom for a diaper change.  You say and do things all the time that only I see and then you refuse to replicate them for your dad.  It makes me look silly, but I know the truth.  Your daddy can get giggles out of  you that I can only dream of, but when it's time to snuggle you are mine. 

You've been sick twice in two weeks now, most recently with your first stomach bug.  I always considered us lucky that we'd made it this long without checking off that experience and thankfully, it appears to be a light one.  I hate when you don't feel well because I know how miserable it is, but I do love the cuddling and snuggling and mama time that I get.  You're too busy on normal days.

For several months, we've had a bedtime routine of pajamas, milk, then rocking to sleep in your room.  As soon as your dad or I carry you to your room, your head is on our chest before we can even take a seat in the glider.  I relish those moments but I'm afraid we've created a monster that will soon cause us all severe grief.  We never should've started rocking you to sleep because now it is near impossible to stop, but we will... eventually. 

You are perfection.  You don't even have a freckle!  I asked a dermatologist when things like that will appear and he said around age two.  I love your smooth, perfect skin and I have a bottle of SPF 55 ready to go for our outside fun. 

I wish I could put the love into words.  The joy I feel when you look for me.  The exuberance of feeling your little hand in mine.... like a big boy now, not a baby.  As you grow, I can only hope that we can teach you love and tolerance.  Patience and kindness.  Peace and the knowledge to make good decisions.  Hope and big dreams.  Acceptance and humility.  And always grace.

Seventeen months have flown in an instant.  Slow down, little one.  The world will always be waiting.

5.17.2010

I'm ok, I'm alright.... Carry on.

C & I watched Edge of Darkness this weekend.  In the first five minutes of the movie, the main character's adult daughter is shot and killed on his front porch, in his arms.  As we watched the grief unfold, I became aware that I was holding my breathe.  The ache.... oh the ache.  For those without kids, I'll never be able to explain it.  We both commented that watching shows where people lose children is 100 times worse now that we have one.  My thoughts kept drifting to that angel sleeping in his bed and how my life would never be the way it used to be.  I think my words were, "If that happened to me, I would fall down dead right next to him.  Dead."  But, I know that's not true.  I cannot begin to imagine how I could ever think about living again. 

-------------------------------

I love this:
This is a creature on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing, instead of the whole world.
-------------------------------

The end must be near, pigs must be flying and hell must feel a little bit chilly this morning because I HAVE A FACEBOOK.  I'm not posting the link, nor am I friending every person I've ever known and their dog. 

So.  Anyway.

5.12.2010

Meet the newest member of the family

This is Foghorn. 


He's a pretty good looking chicken, isn't he?  Also, very well behaved.


"He" is probably a "she", too.  But at this point, it's just semantics, right? 

And in case you're wondering, C has a friend whose family has chicken houses.  The chicken takers came and picked up chickens, but left 30 or 40 and my husband, who can't pass up an animal, brought home the first one he caught.  Maybe Foghorn will get a friend next go round.

And here's one of my boy since I just can't help myself.

5.11.2010

Mom x2

A friend is thowing me a baby shower.  I've said all along I don't need a thing, especially since it's a boy, but she's insisting.  Probably because I gave her one.  Anyway, the only thing I think I need are clothes since Carter wore a butt-load of hand-me-downs from my sister-in-law's little boy who is only 6 months older than him (and now about 5lbs lighter and the same height.  Dainty.)  And even then, I don't actually know how much I really need since it's been a while since I've been in those boxes. 


In any case, I guess I'm asking for must haves that maybe I don't know about.  Especially when you have more than one kid.  Or maybe something that is SO COOL that I originally thought was frivilous, but maybe can indulge in this time.  Spill it, mom's and those who regularly peruse the baby aisles. 

Also, I'm registered on Amazon.com.... is that tacky?

5.07.2010

Finding Joy

I'm going to sign up for this super cool photography e-course from Willette Photography called Finding the Joy: Capturing your kiddos through Photography.  Anyone want to join me?  If you register by 05/15, it's only $90 for a 6-week, do-at-your-own-pace course.  I'm pretty darn excited about it and maybe it will inspire me to do a little less talking..... and a lot more action.

This is why I'm dreading it...

Me:  What do you think of the name "Hudson"?
Him:  Umm, NO!  As in Rock Hudson?  Gay and dead?


Everyone asks if we have a name picked out and I give the same response every time:  "No."  We couldn't agree on the name "Carter" until I was filling out the BIRTH CERTIFICATE in the hospital.  Seriously.  The man is beyond picky.  Everything I suggest is a "no" and yet, it's my job to come up with choices.  So, help me.  Leave a comment with every boy name you have ever liked.  Please.  For the sake of my marriage.  For the sake of my SANITY.


Edited to add:  While I'm a lover of things a little out of the ordinary, my husband is a complete and TOTAL SQUARE.  So, while I happen to love the name Jackson, all he can think about is a mule.  And he will not have our child ridiculed for his name.  So, try to keep them sort of inside the box.  If they're borderline, I may be able to sway him!

5.06.2010

Making {new} Plans

In all honesty, I was making plans.

Plans for dresses and tights.


Plans for ruffles and bows.


Plans for tutus and pettiskirts.


Plans for pink.

But, you can't win 'em all. 

And, I think I'm pretty much already a winner.

I mean, who would want to raise another me?


**The pictures are linked to the incredible Etsy stores where I found them.**

4.30.2010

Drumroll Please!

I don't think this picture leaves ANY doubt about it.

Another boy!  I was convinced it was a girl.  I even ALMOST bought girl stuff online last week.  Glad I didn't!!  The more I think about it though, the more I like the idea of having two boys.  Not that I really have much of a choice in the matter at this point! 

The rest of the ultrasound was perfect, too.  With Carter, they measured his head like 4 times because it was so big.  This baby was right on track and within all the "normal" ranges.  That combined with the results of my AFP testing has me convinced that we have a healthy baby boy on the way.  That makes for one happy mama.

22 weeks

I had C snap a picture with my blackberry this morning (which explains the quality) so I could show off my belly.  The angle that I'm standing doesn't really show much, but it's there.  DEFINETLY there. 

And as for the winner of the Guess the Sex contest:

Cristal V.

My sweet old friend, Cristal, is the winner of the $10 credit to my Thirty-One gifts store.  She is currently pregnant with number three, so I'm SURE something over there will suit her!

Tonight is date night with my hubby.  We're going to see Miranda Lambert in concert and leaving Carter with my mom.  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

4.22.2010

Guess & Win!

So, we'll find out the sex of Numero Dos next Thursday.  That's ONE WEEK FROM TODAY for those of you playing along at home.  Geez, could the wait be any LONGER?  I'm on a pregnancy forum and some of these girls have known since 13 weeks.  So.  Not.  Fair. 

Enough of my ranting though.  The reason for my post is that I've decide to host a little game.  Click the button below or on my sidebar and go make your guess as to what gender our child will be.  Assuming there will be multiple correct guesses, I will randomly pick one to receive a $10 gift certificate to my Thirty-One store.



I know you have to put a guess for weight, length & birth date, too but you can just put zero for now.  No penalties for being wrong there-- the sex is all that matters!  (That'sWhatHeSaid)  Be sure and make your "name" something that I will be able to recognize or use your email address.  In a couple of weeks, I'll post another game to guess the weight and length.  That winner will get something bigger, I just haven't decided what just yet.

4.19.2010

15 months - A view from a cell phone

Today I took Carter for his 15 month well-baby appointment (albeit 2.5 weeks late).  The term "well baby" is used loosely as he's on antibiotics for a potential ear infection (caught early with just a little fluid in the ears) and has a horrid cough.  But, he was well enough for FOUR shots and a blood draw.  Congratulations, kid!  To celebrate, here are some fun facts from Carter.
  • He weighs 25lbs 11oz (60-something percentile)
  • He's 31.5" tall (57th percentile)
  • His head is 19" (77th percentile)- he's still on track to be presidential.
  • He has a 100 teeth.  Not really, but currently he has all four incisors coming in.  Hopefully that will be all until his 2 year molars.  He can't just cut one at a time- they ALL have to come in at once. 
  • He still naps twice a day, though I've noticed his morning naps have been shorter lately.  Except on Sunday.  It lasted for 2.5 hours. 
  • This past weekend, he slept til almost 9am before demanding attention from his parents. 
  • We rock him to sleep every night and let me tell you, as bad of a habit that is to start, it makes for some of the sweetest moments when he finally gives up for the day.  But the flip-flopping and wiggling getting there is getting very old.  Especially when mom's lap is disappearing. 
  • He loves his juice (either flavored water from Target or 2oz Gerber juice and the rest water) and will drink 4-5 sippy cups a day.
  • He's still attached to his noodle (pacifier), but I'm not fighting that battle just yet. 
  • He says all sorts of things now- Mama, Daddy, doggy, hi, bye, bock-bock, quack-quack, ball (bah), this (dis- when pointing), uh-oh and thank you.  I will forever pride myself on the fact that thank-you was his first real word.  He says it with accuracy, too.... especially when he's coming to take something you have! 
  • He can sign "please" and give/blow kisses.  Wet, open mouthed mwah's!
I haven't taken nearly enough "real" pictures, so I thought I'd share what my cell phone captures.  Yes, there are a lot of car seat pictures, but that's really the only time he holds somewhat still.  That, and I love to watch him sleep...

04/04/2010


04/09/2010


04/10/2010


Hello?




Hammy - 04/15/2010
(These were from last week's "sick day".  Yeah, notsomuch.)

First "real" boo-boo.  He fell on the fireplace.  A+ parenting
04/17/2010

This is what four shots and a blood draw will do.
04/19/2010

4.13.2010

How?

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends, and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.  -Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca-Cola Enterprises

3.29.2010

I *heart* faces - 03/22





For my regular readers (assuming anyone still reads), you've seen this one before. But, I couldn't help but submit it for this week's I Heart Faces "Dramatic" theme. I am absolutely in love with this photo (for many reasons), so hopefully it will be well-received.

3.10.2010

This ain't no place for the Weary Kind...

My kid surprises me all the time.  Just for fun a few weeks ago, I said "Carter, where's your ball?" and you know what he did?  He stopped what he was doing and started looking for a damn ball.  "Ba ba ba ba", he exclaimed once he found one. 

That is so cool.  I had never thought about the day he could actually comprehend.  Now, I tell him the names of stuff all the time.  Light, doggy, truck.  We wave bye-bye to diapers when they go in the Diaper Genie.  He turns off the lights when we leave the room.   We do the HotDog Dance every morning.  He is the coolest kid I know.  Who knew parenting would be so fun... this quickly.

Pioneer Woman asked a question for a giveaway today that's really had me thinking.  More or less it was "How different is your life now than how you originally pictured it"?

It's a question that doesn't come with an easy answer.  When I was in college, I wanted to work in downtown Dallas in a skyscraper and do buisnessey things.  And I did.  I never really thought about the rest of it, I don't think.  But.

I'm married to the man who took my breath away upon meeting him when I was only 16.
I'm pregnant with his second child.
Being a mother is a job I was made for.  This love.... it's indescribable.
Being a wife is something I try very hard to be good at.
Turns out, it doesn't matter if I do perfect laundry or cook fabulous meals.

Love and respect... and time.  Those are what matters.