I read this and loved it and wanted to remember it. What better way to remember than to share? I hope Ryan doesn't mind.

...Sometimes, the leaps are what count. Not the take off, not the landing, but that moment when you are suspended in the air, grinning like a fucking idiot at the one you love and praying that you're doing the right thing.


View from a deer stand, opening day

Even if I didn't see one dang deer, at least I saw a beautiful sunset.

Wishful Dreaming

I wish I'd taken more pictures of myself when I was pregnant. I loved being pregnant. I loved being rotund and awkward and out of breath. Maybe because I had an excuse to not be skinny or maybe because the belly absorbed anything extra around my middle (also promptly left it in it's wake). I loved it even in the very last moments. Carter was breech, so I was accustomed to rubbing his head or back in my belly. I loved trying to figure out what body parts I felt. I loved feeling him move, even when he woke me up in the middle of the night. The pain in my hips and back is a distant memory, because I remember the love I had for the belly.

This is the last picture before he hatched. 12/25/2008 - 37 weeks

I wonder if it will be the same the second time around. (I'm not, yet.) I wonder if chasing a baby will make me loathe a belly. I wonder if I'll have morning sickness or high blood pressure, next time.

I'm getting ready, y'all. I ain't getting any younger, you know.


Shiny Gem

I'm praying for Stellan. Are you?

As I sit here, angry that Carter has yet another snotty nose and that he's still speckled from his newly diagnosed penicillin allergy, I'm following MckMama's updates on Stellan. They have brought me to tears. They have brought my breath to my throat. They have brought the Lord's name to my lips. And prayer... oh the constant lingering, whispering prayer.

As a new mom, I want everything to be the best for my baby. I buy snacks with no added sugars. I prefer organic baby food. I'm buying him wooden, handmade toys for Christmas. I hate giving him medicine and delayed giving him benedryl simply because I didn't want his sleep induced by drugs. I want to keep him untainted, as it were.

Can you imagine? Poor Stellan, fighting for his very life.

We are so blessed. Speckled and spotted and snotty and coughing- we are blessed. Carter's heart is strong. His smile is beautiful. His eyes are bright. He is blessed. We are blessed. So, so blessed.