Hi! Remember me?

I know, I know, I got a new job and fell off the map.  Sound familiar?

I'm officially a teleworker- aka, one who works 100% from home.  Sweet! I think I've dreamed of this setup since, oh, day one of my working life.  In my dreams, I had SO MUCH TIME to do stuff around the house.  I'd do laundry and have a clean house and clean dishes and WOW was I ever wrong?

I WORK from the time I get back from dropping the kids at daycare (no, they can't stay here with me... I have to work!) until the time I leave to get them in the afternoon.  I work through lunch daily because I have to leave to get them by 4:45, usually 4:30.  Also, I have mandatory overtime, so I also have to log extra hours, usually some on the weekend, too.  I realize, that we're all paid to WORK all day, but I don't have any bs'ing in the hallway or chatting about American Idol.  In addition, I have a bit of a guilt complex that if someone from the office tries to reach me via instant message or phone and I'm not RIGHT THERE, then they must be dreaming of what I'm off doing.  My nails?  Watching daytime tv?  Napping?  I wish.

As far as the actual work, I love it.  Every day is something new and challenging and I really enjoy it.  I had no doubts about that, though.

My "office" is carved out of the playroom and I have a very nice baby fence in place to keep curious fingers away.  Last week I finally got my monitor and printer setup which made a tremendous difference.

Sometimes I miss having people to talk to and sometimes I realize I'm stunting myself when I find myself stumbling over words when I do speak.  Am I regressing?

This is boring, I realize, but it's what's going on with me.  I'm going to get a haircut on Thursday which I need desperately since I'm approaching mullet status.  My husband's co-workers are having a crawfish boil this weekend and I think I'm going to go childless so lookout!  Mama's gonna have a beer or maybe even three!

I joked with C that Carter's baby-hood was documented with a real camera, and Cooper's all via cell phone. That's how I feel sometimes so I've been trying to make more of an effort since he's already SIX MONTHS OLD.  If you're on my facebook, you've seen the most of him.

I'll try to do better, dear blog.  Honest.

Greener Pastures

Hello Monday.  How are you?  Me?  I'm fine.  I just put in my two week's notice at my current gig.  How's that for kicking off the week?

I have been offered and have accepted a familiar position which will allow me to work from home and have fairly flexible hours.  What does this mean for me?  No more hour long commutes to/from work.  No more getting up at 5:20am.  No more running to Walmart during lunch.  No more fast food.  It's a trade off, but one I think I can certainly live with. 

My last day here is January 28.  My first day at home is February 7, although half of my first week will be eaten up by orientation. 

Here's to 2011 and change.  *deep breath* annnnnnnnnnd RELEASE.

Hello Internet, good to see ya. It's been a long time....

I apologize for the delay. It seems the "new" AT&T was finally able to pull their heads out of their asses and get me connected. It's amazing how much you can miss something once it's gone. And by gone, I mean, GONE. So, where was I?

• Thanksgiving, aka Move Day 2007, was hell. At one point, I was sitting in a carwash bay on the side of I-20 praying for the Lord to show me something to be thankful for, which he ultimately did. Out 2.5hr trip from Dallas to Tyler, ended up being about a seven hour trip to C's carport. Maybe you saw the Cowboy's game on Thanksgiving day-- remember the snow? That's about the time we were ready to leave my apartment. The snow turned to sleet which turned to rain that lasted our entire trip. We bought tarps three different times but each time they came apart and were left on the side of various highways. I cried out of frustration to my mom over all of my belongings being ruined. But, just like He always does, the Lord heard my worries. Not one thing was ruined in the move. Hallelujah!
• I started work last Monday and I'm still lost as a goose, but I suppose that is to be expected. I really like my boss and the other ladies I work with and I look forward to the day I actually understand what it is I'm supposed to be doing.
• My drive is about 30 minutes, one way. Believe it or not, I actually like it because it gives me time to prepare for, and then decompress from my day. I get some good XM time in, too.
• For the first time in my life, I don't have to fill out a timesheet or justify my time. Finally, I am being treated like I really am in an exempt position! As long as my work is getting done, they're very flexible. It's the little things, people.
• I still don't have cable, which is a whole 'nother issue. I refuse to pay $75 a month for something I rarely watch. So, C has a plan with a spare Direct TV box he has-- we'll see if that works out. I can live with or without just about anything for six months.
• I'm an hour and a half away from C. I can't begin to tell you how great that is. We've had dinner together and sleep overs and even there and back evening visits. Last Friday, I was in my bosses office and it was pushing 5:00 and I was already anxious to get on the road. Then I realized I didn't have to fight rush hour traffic or the interstate or have the pedal to the metal for three hours. Just a winding trip east and I'm there. Give it time though, I'll soon be bitching about the "long drive".
• Gas, however, is not. The petro kind, of course. I'm already thinking about downsizing to *gulp* a CAR. Maybe something crazy like a Mini Cooper even! But, Yukon, how I love thee. We'll see.
• My apartment is pretty sad. I took my sister's awful, uncomfortable couch to my mom's so she can have it back. So, the contents of my living room include my recliner, a coffee table, an end table and an entertainment center. C's supposed to let me borrow his loveseat, though.
• Note to visitors, even though I have two bedrooms, the second bedroom is not fully functional at this time. It is a very nice sized closet though.. :) Seriously, though. My lease is only six months long and no one "visits" Tyler.
• I'm blocked on Myspace, Perez Hilton, Galleywinter and a lot of other sites probably at work. I can't see YouTube or some pictures either. I thought they were going to block my from my email, but that was enabled the next day. The temporary block was probably meant as a warning. And, to make matters worse, I have ZERO cell signal in my office. So, if you need me, and it's urgent and you don't have my work email or number- find someone who does.
• I need a haircut. And Campisi's. And some Brandon Rhyder and Walt Wilkins acoustic.
• I think I'm getting sick, or at least developing a nice sinus infection. I know I have insurance, the HR guy just hasn't had a chance to tell me anything about it or when I can expect an insurance card.
• A sinus infection should travel nicely, since I'm going to Chicago next Wednesday for a day of training on Thursday. O'Hare, people. I've heard the horror stories. And, let's not forget, Chicago. In December. *burrrr* But, it is Christmas time.. I just wish we were going to actually be in the city. We're going to be at a campus about 45 minutes north- bummer.
• C has been keeping Shiner. Yes, I paid a $300 non-refundable pet deposit only for C to say he doesn't like the looks of my neighbors and doesn't want me out after dark walking him. Plus, if C and I are going to one day cohabitate, Shiner has GOT to get used to him and get over being such a mama's boy. He's being such a good boy though and I miss him.
• I miss my friends. I have none here. No one to grab a beer with after work. No one to have lunch with- I've been eating at my desk. But, I guess those are the sacrifices I made.. and I really am happy where I am.

So, there you have it. I'm sure I left things out, so I'll try to be more timely about updating. Twenty shopping days 'til Christmas-- wow.

Phase two.. Complete.

Phase two of operation Life Change is complete. Today is my last day with the big Ernst & Young. It's good to leave on a high note, I hear. I worry about my boss being stressed out with having to deal with an inexperienced team, but that's what she gets paid for, I guess. I worry about my team members who don't know how to deal with my boss and who are intimidated by her moods. I worry about the fate of my little team without me.. not that they can't function without me, just that they won't thrive. My boss will be in meetings and they will be left to flounder and then they will receiver her wrath when she finally reviews their work. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now.

I've been packing all week.. a little at a time. C and I plan to move me next week sometime. I've found an apartment in Tyler that I want to look at, but it won't be available until mid-December which means I'll either be staying at a motel or I'll be doing a lot of driving... probably both. I'm not looking forward to any of it, but I'll live. I'm just ready to be settled, but it'll be a while until that happens.

Monday is C's birthday. Since he didn't get me anything for our anniversary (besides our Austin trip), he's calling his guitar his birthday present. So, all he's getting on Monday is a card and some t-shirts from the Gap. I'm going to his house today and we're going to hunt all weekend. He's built two box stands and put them on two different properties, so we've even got some variety. I've never been hunting before, so I'm excited to go with him, especially since he loves it so much. I'm not buying a license, I'm just going to sit with him. Are i-pods allowed?

I can't believe it's already Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for.. I'll be thinkin' on it for another post.. especially since I'm so boring these days. I would like to say thank you to my wonderful friends for all of the kind words of encouragement and for their time and laughter and letting me vent through this stressful process. Friends are such a blessing.

So, happy Friday everyone. Happy last day of EY to me. Happy future.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

I was going to give you a real (boring) update post, but I'm tired. I've been working on a project that I brought home from work and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of sitting in this uncomfortable chair listening to the CMA awards because nothing else is on.

I haven't found anywhere to live. I got really excited about one today, but as C said, "It didn't favor much".. unless a crack shack counts. I'm getting extremely stressed out at the thought that I'm supposed to move next weekend and have no where to move to. I think I'm just going to have to end up getting an apartment and we'll keep looking for a rent house. Neither of us likes that idea, but for now, it's the only option we have. Unless I wanted to drive an hour and twenty minutes one way from his house. Nothankyou.

So, there's an update. I'm just tired. And stressed the eff out. Someday, I'll get back to writing real stuff. Or maybe I won't.

Holy crap, there's Rascal Flatts and Jamie Fox! What in the blue hell?

On the contrary..

I haven't stopped posting, per se... I just haven't had time. It's been a whirlwind few days to say the least. Let me see if I can give you a run down, one bullet at a time.

• Thursday, they made me an offer. A damn good one, complete with relocation. It's a few dollars less than I make now, but it's VERY good for the market I'm moving to.
• Friday, I bit my tongue and told only those closest to me. I told the recruiter I wanted to take the weekend to think about it. The truth is, I wanted to take the weekend and talk to C, since this is a HUGE step in the right direction for us. If his heart isn't in it, there's no need in me moving. Turns out, his heart is in the same place as mine.
• Saturday, we drove to Jacksonville, detouring though Henderson which is where we hope to find a home to rent. It will be difficult and may not happen by the time we start, but I'm hopeful. Henderson is in the middle of where we each need to be- me 30 minutes west and he's 30 minutes east. However, we're open to options.. possibly the south Kilgore area and all small towns in between. If anyone knows anyone in that area, PLEASE let me know.. it's my last and only thing to worry about!
• Sunday, we rested. We went to lunch, looked at cars (since I will FINALLY be able to comfortably afford one) and just hung out with each other. We enjoyed a scrumptious meal in Shreveport at one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook at your table. YUM!
• Monday. Oh Monday. That was the day I accepted the position. And I called ads in the paper for houses for rent. And I called real estate offices in hopes they also handled rentals, all to no avail. There is a house that will be ready in a couple of weeks that is being "redone". It's a three bedroom in Overton. Google it, I did. C and I relaxed on the porch, watching a blazing fire which resulted from him cleaning out his closet. I'm taking mine to Goodwill- he burned his... and what was left of hers. Shoes and all. It was very cathartic for him. Me? I took target practice on a cock-- a rooster, for those of you wondering. We found a nice ceramic pencil holder in the back bedroom and I made handy use of his .22. Blew the head right off and a couple more shots left him in shambles. *baCOCK*
• Today, I worked. And I worked hard. The only break I took was to go to the doctor to try and heal the ringworm my dog seems to have given me. We got another termination today. . it wasn't mine though. I called my boss who was on vacation about 5:30 and gave notice. We talked for an hour and a half. It was full of "What the hell am I going to do" and "I hate it for me, but I'm happy for you" comments. And I believe that she is. I put it in writing in a very nice email, thanking her for the years and for being a great teacher, mentor and friend. And I honestly feel that way. I told her that phone call was harder than breaking up with a few guys I've dated.

So, now you're all caught up, internet. I'm moving on.. and fast. It's crazy how one phone call on a Thursday could change my life. Stick around.. there's plenty more to come.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

So two things have kicked off my morning swimmingly.

First, I checked my email after I showered and saw that the place I interviewed a couple of weeks ago has reposted the job on Monster. This comes after I received a call from the recruiter on Tuesday to ask how the interview went and to see if I was still interested. She said the hiring manager thought it went "pretty well" too. WTF? Now they've reposted the position. So, my question to you, internet, is:

Should I email/call the recruiter and ask her if they decided to go in a different direction, or just let it be. C seems to think that act would appear desperate, but I think it's an innocent question since I SAW THE REPOSTING. If you don't want to hire me, just say so. Ugh.

Second, freakin' Whataburger screwed up my taquito. All I ask for is no egg- is that so hard? I didn't realize it til I was already to the freeway and couldn't turn around. So, one of my coworkers got a free breakfast. Double ugh.


Last night I got an email telling me I'd won a $250 gift certificate to Robbins Brothers (where we looked at horses, aka engagement rings). I had signed up for their email list and they said I could win prizes, but hell! Now I'm torn because:
a) C isn't making any moves towards purchasing anything- at least that I know of.
b) There's a guy in Midland one of his coworkers is buying from that he's shown interest in talking to.
c) They don't have anything but wedding/engagement jewelry (though they might have some necklaces). What would I spend $250 on if not towards a ring?
d) They want me to take a picture with the manager and write a paragraph about my "winning experience". "Uh- I opened the email and saw I won. Yay." WTF?

I'm supposed to reply within 48 hours.. I'd like your advice on this, too.


Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt to leave work a little early (around 3:00), in an attempt to get out of Dallas and arrive in Houston after rush hour. I'm going to see my Heather's new home and watch my dear friend Lacy marry. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the driving, but that can't be helped. Unless I drive to Tyler tonight and meet C to drop off Shiner and fly. I doubt that will happen though.

I promise better blogs are coming.. you know, a little more thought provoking than "Whataburger screwed up my order". I'm in a funk, what can I say?

UPDATE: +2 for this morning: 1- We're getting laptops! Hopefully quickly followed by working from home a couple of days a week. 2- Campisi's for lunch!

update

It went very well. I met with four of the five people I was scheduled for and answered all their questions pretty well.. at least that's what I think. We'll see what happens next, I guess. Thanks for all of your well wishes!

I treated myself to a pedicure on the rest of my afternoon off.. being sick has never looked so good!

leaving on a fast train

I'm leaving around 6:30 in the morning and heading two hrs south east for an interview which could change my life. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I have a job I like now. I like my co-workers (as crazy as they make me). I like the challenges and I like the money. What I don't like is being so far from those I love and being on the road every single weekend. I want to spend more time together than apart, for once. I want to actualy stay home. So, tomorrow could be the first step in that direction.

I feel very guilty about the whole process because my boss and I have spent hours talking about people who are looking and interviewing- even one on our own team. Not once did I hint about what I was doing. What happens if I have to walk in one day very soon and give notice? Ugh. That's the only part I'm dreading. Our team is new. I'm the only one who knows it all (well- enough). But, I can't live my life to help my boss. I've done that for almost three years now, anyway.

I've spent the last hour trying to find an outfit that's not hideous and while I will probably be very uncomfortable, isn't that what interviewing is supposed to be? I'm meeting with five people for 45 minutes each and then they're all taking me to lunch.. that sounds promising, right?

I will try to stay motivated and update when I get home tomorrow. Wish me luck!

For Woodrow

I tried to post last night but blogger was being a little bitch. So, since I got up a little early this morning, why not post now instead of getting to work early?

Last Saturday, C and I fired up the grill and these (along with two chickens not pictured) are the results. Yes, the pork loin was as yummy as it looks. The jalapeno's were hot enough to give me a hint of what hell might be like and inspired me to pray more!














Sunday, we watched "Streets of Laredo" (sequel to Lonesome Dove) and Cold Mountain. That Joey Garza was one crazy mofo and Nicole Kidman has absolutely flawless skin. I'm glad Renee Z. won the Oscar.. she deserved it. Needless to say, I got my fill of killing.. and crying. Ugh.

Yesterday, I had a phone interview for a job in Jacksonville, Tx. It sounds very promising and the interview went very well. For once, my experience IS what they are looking for. I've been invited to tour the plant and will hopefully schedule that soon.

Today, our "big boss" for lack of a better word, is in town. Hopefully he can provide some insight as to what his "vision" is. It's been a long year dangling at the end of the yo-yo.

Tomorrow, C and I are heading to Austin to celebrate our one year anniversary. I'm looking forward to it, mainly just to get out of town. Sweet Dawn is keeping my Shiner for me. I know he'll be in great hands, but I sure will miss the little fella!

Cryptic thought for today:
Some things, no matter what is said or how many times it is addressed, never seem to dissapate. Some things don't have a solution, you just learn to live with it, adjust your life and move on. These same things may surely be the death of me.

Something like it..

Every so often, I get in one of those "life is too short" kind of moods. Life is too short to be sitting in this office. Life is too short not to enjoy a beautiful day. Life is too short to live where you are no longer happy or be away from those you long for. The reality is that I'm trying to rectify the situation, but really. That saying "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans" is true. C and I have been together just shy of one year and for at least half that time, I've been trying to move closer to him. What I wouldn't give to just pick up and move somewhere new- maybe Colorado or Wyoming - even though I swore I'd never leave Texas again. Maybe the hill country where my heart is happiest. But I'm too rational to do that. I tried it once and it didn't suit me. I worry to much about how to pay my next bill or money for "the future". 401-k and insurance and all that bs that is instilled as important at a young age.

I wish I had a little more gypsy and a little less "by the books".
I wish I had more heart and less head.
I wish I had the means and the guts to do what I really want to do.
I wish, I wish, I wish.
Here's to precious time, making changes for the right reasons and happiness. May we all find some.

For what it's worth

This week at work, I've been especially detached. I doodle and waste time online and avoid work. I can't focus, all I want to do is not be there. We had a meeting- the 18 of us left in the office. It was billed as an "update", but it was far from it. Basically, my boss's boss shared that he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know what the future holds for us. When asked specific questions, his answer was, "I don't really know." His boss is coming down from New Jersey at the end of the month to "share his vision for the future" and an org chart which hopefully will tell us where we fit into this new organization. I realized while sitting in that meeting, that I really had no desire to go further with this company. It's a great company- but my office, and my tasks are not. We no longer have a strong leader willing to fight for us, but rather someone who is happy to wait to be told what to do. He has been in India for the better part of eight months, but has been back in the office for three weeks now. In that time, he hasn't pursued the "pages" of questions he has for his boss regarding his new role and hasn't provided us any direction in his absence. He wants us to all get along, to communicate and be open with one another- and his openness says "I know nothing". I don't function well with that and, judging by the number of people looking and interviewing, neither do a lot of us. When you only have 18 people in an office and even two leave- that leaves a pretty sizable hole.

So, I've spent the better part of the last hour online, scouring job sites for something a little closer to my heart. It was a fruitless search. I'm trying to remain positive and hopeful, but the truth is, I'm no longer certain something will arise. Perhaps it's time for me to take a risk and take my life back. But how? With what?


On a happier, er, stranger note- Each time I visited http://www.weather.com/ today at work, I got directed to the "Wedding Weather" page. I took a screenshot and sent it to C and we laughed about it, but still.. very strange. I delete my temporary files and clear my cookies every night. I wonder if it's a sign...