Look! Twice in one week!

Still no pictures though.

Bye! See ya, next time! Also, boob talk ahead. Repeat, boob talk ahead. If you are feeling anxious, dizzy or lightheaded please proceed to the nearest exit.


So, remember when I said I had a LASIK evaluation this week? Ohhhh man. I don't even have an expression to effectively communicate what a CLUSTER that was.

I took an entire afternoon off for it. I drove 45 minutes (one way) out of my way for it. And then, I cried all my makeup off after it.

Enough. Here it is.

Turns out, you can't have Lasik if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. No one asked and I honestly didn't think the two had anything to do with each other, so I didn't volunteer it until halfway through the exam when the nurse asked. I assume the only reason she asked is because I mentioned I have a six month old and "GAWD, I can't WAIT to see how bad his eyes will be". Anyway, something about hormones (isn't it ALWAYS about hormones?) affecting your vision and the thickness of your cornea and blah, blah, blah. I'm good with that. Fine as wine in the summertime with it actually. I've been dealing with supply issues from being sick anyway, so why complicate matters by adding steriod drops and valium to the mix?

What I'm not ok with is being completely disrespected for my choice in feeding my child. By a VERY well known doctor- a professional - who couldn't even say the word "breastfeeding". Instead, he referred to it as "that" and, get this, he looked at my boobs everytime he said it. SERIOUSLY.

Here's how it went:

So! We're breastfeeding! I don't know what your timeline is for stopping "that" *glance at boobs*, but I think it's best if we wait to do the procedure when you're done... with "that" *glance at boobs*. I mean, you're going to have to put drops in your eyes every hour and well, it's just not really condusive to doing "that"*glance at boobs*. You're an excellent candidate though and as soon as you're finished with "that" *glance at boobs*, we'll be happy to get you set up for a procedure.

Yeah. He really said and did "that" *glance at boobs*. I've never been so uncomfortable and felt so disrespected in my entire life. Between he and several (female) nurses, everyone in the place knew I WAS BREASTFEEDING. But, we can't discuss it like normal people- noooooooo. We have to loudly whisper about it so people won't hear. We have to ask repeatedly, "You don't know when you're going to quit?" Because it's dirty, right? Feeding my child naturally the way women have done it since the BEGINNING OF TIME*?

I believe my mother said it best: Clearly, his wife never breastfed any of his children... if he even has any.

Ooooh. Burn, Gayle. BURN.



*Please note that I don't care how you choose to feed your child- this is just what I'm doing.

Part 3 - Surprise!

My goodness, where does the time go? This has been month end close and it has been nuts, but seriously- I'm a slacker and I apologize to my 10s of readers. Here's a rundown of what's been going on.

• I have a list of blog topics. Literally. It's on a little yellow sticky by my keyboard at work. Yes, I'm making this list from that list.
• Sometime last week, I had a delightful dream about John Mayer. Don't ask me why, because I was happily sleeping next to my handsome fiance, but it was John Mayer just the same. And he was in love with me. I kept asking him why me because he didn't even know me, but he never would answer. He was flying me all over for shows and giving me the star treatment and I happily went along- but I just couldn't believe that he was in love with me. Dreams, ya know?
• I'm currently digging a band called The Steeldrivers. They're a little bit country and a little bit bluegrass and a lot wonderful. Check 'em out.
• I have on my list to bitch about the lack of rain, but thanks to Eduard Eduord Eduorad that tropical storm, we've gotten a few showers on our crunchy grass. It's no longer crunchy, but I wouldn't complain if it were to rain say, all weekend?
• My nearest and dearest (save for my Cori and June) are gone to Idaho for Brauns and Ragweed and RRB. I should've gone, but let's face it. I've got other places to spend my money. I know they'll have a great time without me, though. Doesn't mean I'm not jealous, though.
• This should probably be it's own post/rant, but let's face it- that may take another month. In case you don't know, I've moved back to east Texas. Land of two lane roads and speed traps. But, most highways are 70mph. And that's what I drive + 2-3 mph. I would like to issue a statement to other residents of the roads I travel of this speedlimit and the fact that WHEN YOU PULL OUT IN FRONT OF ME, PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM GOING 70MPH, NOT 40, YOU M'EFFING, BACKWOODS, NO DRIVING, lovely, lovely people. It pisses me off to no end that waiting five seconds for me to pass is too much to ask, so I should be happy to slam on my brakes or defensively weave around you, hopefully not into on coming traffic. I'm carrying precious cargo, you fool.
• Speaking of, I'm pregnant. Surprise! (If you know my mother, please do not forward the link to my blog to your mom who will then read the whole thing and tell my mother about all of the un-lady like things I've said, mmmmk? Just tell your mom the news- no details about where you found out needed, ok?) I'm due in January and let this be the warning that baby talk will soon be invading this space. FINALLY.
• Also please know that just because I'm pregnant does not mean that's why C & I bought a house and are getting married. Yes, it's the ultimate shotgun trifecta, but it was all going to happen eventually- we just got put on the fast track. We can't be happier- and, well, you should be too.
• Sorry, SLM, for making you shit just now.

I hope it's not genetic.

So, I've been very open about how wonderful my mother is and how much I love her. She truly is an amazing woman and the best mother I could have ever asked for.

That being said- the woman is driving me insane.

Let me explain. I've been on her car insurance since I got my first car. And she's paid it. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm spoiled. Whatever. When I bought my new car, I told her I was going to get my own insurance. That was when- in February? So, she kindly paid the interim fee to extend my coverage to the end of her policy, which is May 26. Since then, every couple of weeks, I've been asked, "Are you thinking about insurance?" "Have you looked into insurance yet?" I blew it off by saying that I was getting estimates and that I would take care of it before the end of the policy. The past month, the nagging has really increased- to every phone call. I've told her repeatedly and very calmly that I'm going to take care of it. Last night, I had all I could take.

Yesterday, was our annual physical inventory at work. It's no secret that our monthly inventory is my most stressful day of the month- and only 1/3 of the part numbers are counted. For the annual inventory, every single part in the plant is counted. Production was shut down, lunch was brought in- it was a big damn deal. I left my house about 7:20 yesterday morning and got home about 7:50 last night. From 1:30pm on, it was hell. I literally had the weight of the plant on my shoulders because everyone was waiting on ME to finish. No one could leave. There was a lot of pacing and sweat. My face got very red and my blood pressure was very high, I'm sure. Regardless, I was tired to say the least.

Hers was one of the many calls I didn't answer yesterday, so on my drive home, I called her back to see what "things she had to tell me". As soon as the usual niceities were over, here it came. "So, I guess you finalized your insurance the other day?" I just had to be honest and say, "Actually, no, I keep forgetting, but I'm going to take care of it before the 26th. " "SAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! This is IMPORTANT! THE 26TH IS MONDAY AND IT'S A HOLIDAY! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS ISN'T DONE YET!"

I responded not so calmy by yelling, "I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF IT TONIGHT. AS SOON AS I GET HOME, I'M GOING TO DO IT. PLEASE DO NOT NAG ME ON TODAY OF ALL DAYS!"

That went over like a lead balloon, but I did what I said I was going to do and took care of it last night. C actually added me to his policy, so it's going to cost me half what insurance on my own would cost. Yay!

The icing on the cake came this morning. She calls me at work to inform me that she's going to be paying her insurance bill in full. She didn't want to bother me about it any more, so she's just going to pay it. What? Did I miss something? Did I stutter when I YELLED that I would be handling it last night? So, I calmy told her that I did, in fact, handle it last night. I was insured. She was speechless, I think. Finally.

After another call to make sure I told Toyota Credit about my new insurance and my world is at peace, once again. I may not have peace with my mother, since I'm an ungrately, spoiled, bitch of a daughter - my words, not hers - but at least the insurance topic is OFF the table.

Praise the Lord and pass the gravy. Y'all have a good, long weekend now- ya hear?

It’s Memorial Day in America
Everybody’s on the road
Let’s remember our fallen heroes
Y’all be sure and drive slow

Things I'm tired of

In no particular order

• Heidi and Spencer. These people are neither celebrities nor are they cool. Her clothing line sucks and he looks like Butthead (or is it Beavis?) and is one too. Either way, they're fake and I'm sick of 'em.
• David Beckham and Victoria. I don't think he's hot. There, I said it. I may be the only girl on the planet who thinks it, but there it is. I bet he gets tired of her pretentious looking ass and I bet he gets tired of waiting on her. Either way, I'm sick of them too.
• Doctor Laura. Used to, when I'd leave work, I'd catch the rerun of Broadminded on XM. They're a couple of cool chicks that talk about things I'm interested in like dissecting Lost and making fun of American Idol and being generally non-politically correct. I dig them. Somewhere along the way, the rerun of the days show got pulled and replaced by Dr. Laura. Now she's on for like five hours straight. WTF is that? I can barely stand to listen to her commercial on the station and now they've taken away my fun and replaced it with disgust. Yes, I wrote a letter.
• Work. I haven't been busy this week and no one is hear and I'm pretty damn tired of it, too.
• Red lights. I firmly believe that Tyler Texas USA is the red light capitol of the WORLD. The other night coming home from the library, I caught every. single. one. Even after I made a wrong turn and got lost, still no breaks. I finally accepted it and told God I would slow down. I'm still irritated, though.

Eh, that's all I can come up with right now because I'm just making myself angry thinking about it. In the comments, tell me what you're tired of. Hopefully it's not me. :)

We are?!

This is what happens when our president stops giving a shit.

Bush says U.S. economy in "rough patch"

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President George W. Bush said on Thursday the U.S. economy was in a "rough patch" but noted that steps have been taken to try to spur growth.

"We're in a rough patch right now," Bush said in answer to a question at a joint news conference with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

Waste O'Money

Don't you hate it when you're at the store and you see a cool lip gloss and you think, "Maybe this will look ok..." but then you try it once you get home and it's no longer RACY RED but instead HOOKER-LICIOUS?

This is completely deceiving.



















Even this picture doesn't do it justice. It looks more like goth-chic combined with "I'm a dancer". Ugh.














And yes, I'm totally going to wear it the rest of the day.

Seriously.

I've had this car a little over a month. Over the weekend, I got a nice crack in the windshild and then tonight on my way home from work I get a chip. What in the world is wrong with me? Am I not ALLOWED to have a semi-perfect car for just a freakin' minute?!!!




(pictures were taken with new lens but it does not in any way, shape or form indicate it's ability)

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose...

Last Friday night, my friend and musician Brandon Rhyder was scheduled to play in his hometown for the very first time. It promised to be a huge night, both for the crowd and the band. However, a dirty act caused the liquor license of the bar to be pulled at the last minute. From the horse's mouth it appeared to be a direct attack on Brandon by the district attorney who simply did not want him to play. HERE is the article in the local paper about the incident and below is Brandon's letter to the editor. I cannot begin to tell you how much this upsets me. Not only because it was Brandon, but because this is exactly how this town works. In this dry town and county, there are three other establishments with a license who have zero problems maintaining it. But this bar has had trouble from the very beginning- both from the townspeople and city council and from the police and highway patrol who stake out the exits handing out DWIs. The best part is that all the people who are so against it are the same people who drive two counties over to buy their alcohol. It's a cryin' shame.

Hi, my name is Brandon Rhyder. Last Friday night I was scheduled to play at the local Carthage venue, Alamo Bar. Upon arriving we discovered that the liquor license had been pulled from the venue and the show was at risk of being cancelled. Instead, the show went on as planned as a BYOB event.
It's not front page news that the community is divided when it comes to the subject of a bar being in this dry county. Old money, politics and religion are the center of attention with this issue and that fight is not my personal fight. I play in bars. That's how I feed my family and eight other families to boot. All the artists in the Texas Country Music Hall of Fame (in Carthage) played in bars. The artists you pay good money to see in coliseums most likely started out playing bars. I call it my second college education.

Some people have insinuated that District Attorney Danny Buck Davidson may have a vendetta against me. Danny Buck has been a family friend and has represented my family as a lawyer on occasion. I think Danny Buck was playing cards dealt by his constituents and he wants to be re-elected. I feel the timing was calculated and the intention specific. The timing affected my income.

I have never been asked to play at any other event in my hometown by the Chamber of Commerce and/or the Texas Country Music Hall of Fame. This does not insult me. I feel confident that opportunities would have presented themselves down the road as my career continues to grow.

People will tell me that this turn of events had nothing to do with me. It could have been any body else, but it wasn't. I came home to play where I was invited to play, and if asked again I will do the same.

Prohibition has long been silenced. I believe in freedom of speech and that the laws in place allowed the owners of the Alamo Bar to place residency on the loop.

It's ironic to me that in less than a year I was presented the key to the city for my accomplishments in music, invited home to play, only to find the locks had been changed.

Brandon Rhyder

Detail

Remember when I ranted about my old apartment complex wanting me to pre-pay my rent through the end of my lease term? Well, I had my very own Nancy Drew (aka Cori) go investigate and see if anyone was living in my old apartment. And what do you know? I was so happy to hear those voicemails and EQUALLY as happy that I hadn't written them that check! So, hopefully that's done with. I haven't heard anything else from them.

Thank the Lord for small favors. That money will now go towards a down payment on a new, economically friendly car. Blah. I hate the thought of being a CAR owner, but I'll live. It's the smart thing to do and sometimes being a grown up means not always getting what you WANT, but getting what makes sense.

Right?

Little pink dress, hanging by her knees...

• I am a self proclaimed addict to Oprah & Friends, XM channel 156. Yesterday, I bought three books I'd heard about while listening and wanted a fourth which was not in stock. They were:
  
  
  The last one is the one I didn't get, but sounds really interesting. Basically the authors looked at restaurant foods and found an alternative which had a LOT fewer calories. For example: A 6" personal pan Uno's Pizzaria pizza was equivalent to 18 slices of a Domino's thin crust cheese pizza. Anyway, it's on my list.
• C & I are trying desperately to eat better. He's obsessed about his teeny tiny little belly and is convinced it's heart attack fat that will eventually kill him. Trouble is, he doesn't lose weight there- he loses weight in the already skinny rest of his body! We bought matching digital scales, so we are now among the weight obsessed. I haven't owned a scale since I moved out at the age of 18. Ugh.
• I'm slowly but surely adding worth to my office. This week, I threw myself into building (and learning) an Access query. It took an inordinate amount of time, but I think I've managed to produce a quality product. Yes, it's Thursday and I started on it Monday afternoon. So?
• I wish I would have been in Steamboat. While I was at work waiting for 5:00, the Musicfest'ers were choosing what show to go to at 3:00. It's a rough life. At least I've gotten to live vicariously through a few calls and texts-- and the XM broadcasts! Hallelujah! I sure hope someone recorded them.
• I'm expecting my new down comforter to arrive Monday. I originally ordered it the Sunday before NYE after we bought C one at Kohl's in Shreveport. I loved his and he wanted to get me one, too. So, I ordered it and waited. And waited. And then Tuesday, I got an email saying my order had been cancelled due to product availability. I called last night and wouldn't you know they had "a ton" of them-- but they weren't as deeply discounted as the price I had originally gotten. My theory is that they didn't want to honor the price which was $30 less than it is now-- but the helpful representative reordered it for me and gave me the original price-- and sent it priority air with no shipping fees. Score!
• Speaking of honor. My old apartment complex in Dallas-- you know the one. The one where I broke my lease to move to Tyler for a job? On 12/28, I got a letter/statement from them saying my account was past due and that someone from collections would be contacting me to retrieve the $3,400 I owed them. You read correctly. They want me to pay for all rent through March when my lease was originally scheduled to expire. Now, I've already paid them a "reletting fee" and paid back all of the "concessions" (discounts) I received during the current lease period. On top of that, now I'm allegedly responsible for rent, too. Now tell me, what sense does that make? If I knew it was going to cost me this much, I would have just kept the apartment!! I've tried to call them twice to discuss it since the corporate office knows nothing about it-- odd, don't you think? I also find it odd that the letter was sent on 12/21 but so far, no one has called me or sent me another notice. I'll pay whatever I owe, but don't think for a second I'm not going to send a friend down to knock on the door and see if the apartment has been leased!
• I have jury duty on Monday. I'm hope it's cancelled, but a day off wouldn't be awful either!

Some poeple don't care if they live or they die
Some people want to know what it feels like to fly
They gather their courage and they give it a try
And fall under the wheels of the time going by - Trapeze, Patty Griffin

This probably doesn't apply to you

Nothing angers me more than a know-it-all. Well, let me rephrase. Nothing angers me more than a know-it-all who clearly doesn't know it all or anything for that matter. A know-it-all who hops on every bandwagon who has half a spot on it. Nothing angers me more than talk with no action, or better yet, talk without substance. Talk that crawfishes when questioned, or that just talks itself in circles. It's slimy, it's gurmy and it's disrespectful. That's all I have to say about that.

But you’re not the first you know, and you won’t be the last
There’s a long list of has-beens waiting down at the pass
And when you figure it out, that I’m not white trash
They won’t let you on the train that I’m on cause it’s moving too fast