Greener Pastures

Hello Monday.  How are you?  Me?  I'm fine.  I just put in my two week's notice at my current gig.  How's that for kicking off the week?

I have been offered and have accepted a familiar position which will allow me to work from home and have fairly flexible hours.  What does this mean for me?  No more hour long commutes to/from work.  No more getting up at 5:20am.  No more running to Walmart during lunch.  No more fast food.  It's a trade off, but one I think I can certainly live with. 

My last day here is January 28.  My first day at home is February 7, although half of my first week will be eaten up by orientation. 

Here's to 2011 and change.  *deep breath* annnnnnnnnnd RELEASE.

Two-Thousand Eleven; Resolution(s)

Since a new year is impending, I actually think I will make some promises for improvement.  Normally I skip that part because I know I won't follow through, but maybe if I write them down for the entire Internet to see, they might stand a chance. 

1. Lose (more) weight.  Clearly, gaining and birthing baby weight (and then some) in 2010 was not enough because, for Christmas, my sister bought me shirts in sizes so big, I don't even know what they are.  I've vented to everyone who would listen in real life and on Twitter about this already.  THEN, she followed it up with "they may be a little big, but maybe they'll shrink in the wash".  As a woman, it's terribly insulting for someone to not only buy me clothes that are too big, but clothes that are many sizes too big.  If my sister held up this shirt and thought, "Yes, that looks like Sara's size", then clearly it's time to change her image of me.  As a sidebar, my husband said he will be buying only size small or extra-small from here on out.
2. Get outside of my comfort zone.  Translation:  Leave the house with both children.  Carter is old enough now that he needs to go places and experience things.  It's so easy for us to stay home because it's easy, but in 2011, I want to flush easy.  I don't necessarily want to trade it for impossible, but I do think the more we go and do, the more likely my kids will learn how to act in public.  Or not.  But, in any case, we're going places in 2011. 
3. Write more.
4. Photograph more.
5. Get control of my kitchen chaos/lack of storage hell.  If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about.  Two decidedly NOT type-A's live in this house, ifyouknowwhatImean.

Cooper's Here!

So, a little over a week ago, I was bitching about being 40 weeks pregnant.  Not for long though.  Cooper Ryan arrived on September 02, 2010 (90210, for those of you playing along) at 1:20pm.  He was 7lbs 5oz and 19 inches of pure perfection. He wasn't even breech like he'd been the whole pregnancy... somehow he'd turned and I hadn't noticed.  Apparently, he got a big gulp of fluid in his lungs right before he came out and was having a little trouble "transitioning" to oxygen, so he had to spend several hours in the NICU for observation.  His breathing was very rapid, but he quickly go the hang of it.  When the nurse brought him to me (around 6pm), she said, "He's VERY awake and VERY hungry!"  He was already chewing on his little hands like a feign.  Lucky for me, he nursed like a champ from the word go and has NO signs of tongue tie.  Yayyyyy!  On Friday, they told me that he was Coombs positive, which meant that some of my blood (O+) and his blood (A+) had mixed so he had a touch of jaundice while his body filtered out my blood cells.  So, we had to do some photo-therapy, but only Friday night.  It was still a long night because he couldn't rest in there- no swaddling and no nursing, so a kind nurse gave us a pacifier which helped a ton. 

He is a completely different newborn than Carter was.  He actually sleeps and eats the way a typical newborn should-- a lot!  Carter was so hungry from not being able to nurse that he never rested.  Poor baby.  Cooper is, knock on wood, easy. 

Here are some pictures from the day. Yes, I put on makeup and fixed my hair before surgery.  I refused to look like poo on my big day.

40 weeks

What I really felt like

In surgery.  Very serious stuff.

Cooper Ryan - mind the modesty patch.

A little bili-light on those perfect piggies.

 

 

Look!  I haz BAY-BEE!

Pure perfection.  What a blessing!

Music Speaks

dance, dance, dance

Oh 20's, you were a necessary evil weren't you? 

10 years ago today, I was turning 20.  What a pointless birthday that is.  Nothing good happens at 20, besides the fact that you're no longer a teenager.  My early to mid twenties are a blur.  Lot's a drinking and music and miles.  There were bad decisions and there were better ones.  My twenties were full of girlfriends and laughter and good times.  And then, my twenties changed my life by bringing two magical men into my life.  Marriage and birth at 28.  That was a great year.

And now, 30.  On the cusp of another birth, another male to love.  My past has been void, but now it seems... full.  Men come from me.  They need me.  They fill my life with love and laughter and worth.  This life is a funny journey, for sure. 

The grey hair comes with aches.  The energy goes.  It's all a dance.  And it's one I hope to continue for a very, very long time.  Until I can dance no more.

This ain't no place for the Weary Kind...

My kid surprises me all the time.  Just for fun a few weeks ago, I said "Carter, where's your ball?" and you know what he did?  He stopped what he was doing and started looking for a damn ball.  "Ba ba ba ba", he exclaimed once he found one. 

That is so cool.  I had never thought about the day he could actually comprehend.  Now, I tell him the names of stuff all the time.  Light, doggy, truck.  We wave bye-bye to diapers when they go in the Diaper Genie.  He turns off the lights when we leave the room.   We do the HotDog Dance every morning.  He is the coolest kid I know.  Who knew parenting would be so fun... this quickly.

Pioneer Woman asked a question for a giveaway today that's really had me thinking.  More or less it was "How different is your life now than how you originally pictured it"?

It's a question that doesn't come with an easy answer.  When I was in college, I wanted to work in downtown Dallas in a skyscraper and do buisnessey things.  And I did.  I never really thought about the rest of it, I don't think.  But.

I'm married to the man who took my breath away upon meeting him when I was only 16.
I'm pregnant with his second child.
Being a mother is a job I was made for.  This love.... it's indescribable.
Being a wife is something I try very hard to be good at.
Turns out, it doesn't matter if I do perfect laundry or cook fabulous meals.

Love and respect... and time.  Those are what matters.

Here's my heart...

Here's my boy...

 

Christmas morning, 2009

 

Happy Birthday to me! January 3, 2010

 

My Rufus Nilly - February 2010

View from a deer stand, opening day

Even if I didn't see one dang deer, at least I saw a beautiful sunset.

Wishful Dreaming

I wish I'd taken more pictures of myself when I was pregnant. I loved being pregnant. I loved being rotund and awkward and out of breath. Maybe because I had an excuse to not be skinny or maybe because the belly absorbed anything extra around my middle (also promptly left it in it's wake). I loved it even in the very last moments. Carter was breech, so I was accustomed to rubbing his head or back in my belly. I loved trying to figure out what body parts I felt. I loved feeling him move, even when he woke me up in the middle of the night. The pain in my hips and back is a distant memory, because I remember the love I had for the belly.

This is the last picture before he hatched. 12/25/2008 - 37 weeks

I wonder if it will be the same the second time around. (I'm not, yet.) I wonder if chasing a baby will make me loathe a belly. I wonder if I'll have morning sickness or high blood pressure, next time.


I'm getting ready, y'all. I ain't getting any younger, you know.

Thursday Things

• Last weekend was my first wedding anniversary. C and I laughed that actually being married opened up a whole new world of cards for each other. It's nice to be able to buy for my "husband".
• Can you believe it's been a year, only a year? I say that because on one hand it's FLOWN and on the other, it feels more like five years. Maybe it's because we squeezed five years worth of stuff into one (house, marriage, baby).
• Since the first anniversary gift is traditionally paper, we both followed that theme (unintentionally). He gave me a Paula Deen cookbook and a recipe journal, both of which are funny since I'm a hand granade in the kitchen.
• Every time I go to the store I ask if he needs anything. He always replies, "A sack full of money..." So, that's exactly what he got from me. I bought $100 in scratch off lottery tickets (just doin' my part, E). Of course, we would have been better off if I would've just put $100 in a sack, but the scratching was fun too. I think we won about $35.
• He also bought me my very first gun. I'm the proud owner of a bright and shiny .243 just in time for hunting season. Now all I have to do is try and hit the broadside of a barn, er- deer.
• Make no mistake, I'm pretty stoked about it.
• Speaking of, today kicked off my week of single motherhood. I'm a hunting widow while C is off to Colorado again. When he went last year, I was heavily pregnant (November) and thoroughly enjoyed going to bed early and eating cereal for dinner every night. Oh the difference a year makes, eh?
• My son has regressed to having newborn dirty diapers. Good Lord they're awful. It's been going on for two days- lets all pray he gets over it soon. I'll take nuggets any day.
• Speaking of my darling son, he is THISCLOSE to crawling, finally. He seems to be about a month behind all the other kids his age in his class at daycare. They've all been crawling and cruising for several weeks now... I blame his giganta noggin'.
• When I have another baby, I will be diligent in doing tummy time for the very very beginning. I really think it helps strengthen all these vital muscles used in sitting, crawling and pulling up. We didn't do as much tummy time as we should have with Carter and I think we're now seeing the results... of his giganta noggin', that is.
• I've committed to taking Amber and James' engagement pictures next month. I'm really excited about it, but really anxious about finding a good location with good light in order to get some good shots. That's all I'm going to obsess publicly about that, but just know my wheels are TURNING.
• I'm hosting a baby shower sprinkle this weekend at my mom's. It's at the same time as my high school's homecoming parade, so traffic should be fun. In my hometown, they shut down the major US highway for the parade which really pisses off the truckers. No one else seems to mind though.
• I planned for it to be at my mom's so she could help with Carter while I'm scurrying around doing hostessey things but, you guessed it, she's going to the damn parade. She claims she'll be back in 20 minutes, but WE WILL SEE.
• Hosting a shower is much more difficult than I originally thought, especially since no one is helping aside from my mom making the cupcakes. Yesterday I decided to also make a diaper cake WHICH I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE.
• I agree that I'm loco. It comes with the territory.

Turkey Tuesday

Spotted this morning... only in east Texas?

Monday Muse

From the Story People.

This is getting embarrassing.

I'm sorry, I appear to have fallen off the face of the earth. I'm back- at least with one foot- for a moment.

• My child is almost NINE MONTHS OLD. Seriously! Where is that pause button already? I feel like it wasn't even me living it.

• He's trying desperatly to crawl. So far, all he's managed to do is perfect his rolling skills. Wiggle, wiggle, roll. Next thing you know, he's on the other side of the room.




• C is convinced he's going to crawl or walk or start doing multiplication while he's in Colorado the second week of October. So, he spends an hour or so every evening urging him to crawl NOW. C is very disappointed our child is the last to crawl. He was the last to roll over and sit too- doesn't he see the trend? What? He came two and a half weeks early!




• Carter's a biter. Yesterday, a baby took the toy he was playing with, so he bent down and bit that baby on the toe. Take that, crawling toy stealer.




• Sleep comes at a premium in our house, meaning Carter gets as much as he wants while mom and dad.... don't.




• Remind me to tell you about Shiner.

• Scentsy has been going good. I'm shocked that total strangers have found me and ordered. I'm really not good at selling things, but so far it's worked out swimmingly! Now if only I can stop buying for myself. I'm running a Holiday layaway plan, but you probably got that memo, didn't you?




• My anniversary is next week. This time a year ago I was wishing the wedding would just go away. Now, I'm not six months pregnant and have much more energy. My days are filled with the faces of angels. What a difference a year makes...




• Speaking of, I put out the call on Twitter for anniversary gift ideas.... Anyone else? Bueller?

Recently...

Thank you, God. He makes my heart sing. Can't you hear it?

food for thought

This beautiful thought stolen from vol. 25. Happy Monday!

This is how we do it....

I am absolutely in love with this crappy camera phone picture from Saturday. I think it's so sweet and such a representation of our relationship. Me, as the host and him... as the baby leech.



Just look at that thigh. Nom.






*I am also very embarrassed that it has been so long since I've posted. More is coming soon. Pinky promise.

Let's get it started.

• I like to give credit where credit is due, so I'm giving credit for that picture of me in the previous post to my wonderful husband. Everytime I see it, I'm so thankful for his skills in near beheading.
• I've got two new blogs for you. If you're not reading them, you suck. Not really, but I just discovered them in all the BlogHer hoopla and regret not finding them sooner. Here they are: BHJ and HerBadMother . Such breathtaking talent, these two.
• My son pulled an all-nighter last night and left his father and I with only three measly hours of sleep. Sleep, wake, scream, repeat. Awesome.
• Maybe it's the teeth. Maybe it's his congestion which kept him from his noodle (pacifier). Maybe he was just ready to wild rumpus til six seven in the morn'. In any case, I'm tired.
• I'm now a Scentsy consultant. If you don't know what that is, they're "wickless candles" that come in delicious flavors and warmers sized for your home to your office to your car. Give it a look and take a chance! If you don't like the flavor you get, I'll exchange it for something else. (I can't tell you how long I'll do that, but for now, in the beginning, that's how it's gonna be. I aim for complete customer satisfaction.) Everything in the current Spring/Summer catalog is 10% to make way for the Fall/Winter catalog, available September 1. There are manly scents too, W.... like "Hemingway".
• Consider Scentsy, a first step towards conquering fears.
• Dude, I got a Dyson. It's sad when the highlight of my weekend involves a new vacuum. But man, it's sexy.
• C and I are SO into Big Brother this year. I may have a slight crush on Jeff (along with the rest of America). Wasn't last night's episode hilarious with Chima, Natalie and Lydia CRYING over Jessie like he was DEAD? Geez. Get a grip, girls. Also, adios Chima, you crazy heifer.
• Two cheers for the Rangers taking the lead in the AL Wildcard spot! Neftali Feliz is my new favorite pitcher to watch-- he brings the crowd ALIVE with his 100mph tosses.
• I've officially lost 10lbs and am wearing pants I'd forgotten about which are currently a little baggy. Rock. On.

Nobody's gettin' any younger...

Last weekend, we went to Baton Rouge for my brother-in-law's graduation from LSU. I wasn't really looking forward to the trip because 5+ hours in a car with a seven month old sounded more like torture than fun. But, turns out I had nothing to worry about. We kept his belly full, which in turn made him sleep- imagine that! It works the same way with me! In any case, it was a successful trip, complete with a dip in the hotel pool. He also fell asleep during graduation and on the sweaty walk back to the car- see?



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Remember when I said he had four teeth? Scratch that, there are six now. Well, technically five, with a sixth making my life a LIVING HELL until it comes through. He really is a great baby, even when teething, but damn those little teeth make him cranky. And me, since I haven't slept through the night in a couple of weeks either.

We tried YoBaby yogurt the other night and I thought he was going to leap from his Bumbo chair and attack me. I couldn't load the spoon quick enough for him which resulted in him yelling at me with his mouth open like my very own baby bird.

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Lately I've been noticing just how much I let fear control my life. Just about any idea I have gets pushed to the side in a "someday" file. Why not today? Because I'm scared. Everyone knows that taking the first step is the hardest part, yet it's always the most rewarding because it's a step towards something wanted. When did I become such a scaredy cat? When did my I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR voice turn into a kitten's meow? I'm really starting to get disgusted with myself about it, too. But then, I'm too scared to do anything about it so I might as well just get over it, right?

Wrong.

Fruit Salad

You know when you haven't written anything in a while and you think, "I really need to update that thing" but then the baby shits and your husband has reports to work on and you find yourself doing the 100 other things that need doing instead? Yeah. That's where I've been. Doing other stuff.

Other stuff that does not include taking pictures of my child. So, for those who only care about the pictures, you can leave now. He's still cute, you'll just have to take my word for it. I'm a bad, lazy mommy who hasn't documented his six month of life for crap.

Since my last confession:

• Carter has cut yet another tooth. On the top this time. What? Slow the eff down, son.
• He's also sitting. Albeit wobbly- it's definetly a sit. Seriously. Slow the eff down.
• He sat so good yesterday that I let him fall over without catching him and misjudged where his melon would land which resulted in a thud on the not so padded part of the pallet followed by a scream. Followed by a "DO I NEED TO TAKE MY CHILD AWAY FROM YOU WOMAN?"
• I also tried my hand at making baby food yesterday. The faces said it all and what they said was "This shit is disgusting. If you don't watch it, I'll make you wear it again, lady." Yes, I said, "again".
• My nomination for mommy of the year has been revoked.
• I got sick last weekend. Friday night I was pretty sure I was going to die. Saturday, I knew I was. I finally got to the doctor on Tuesday with symptoms completely different from Friday. Two shots fixed my fever... and effectively KILLED my milk supply.
• So now I'm dealing with that.
• But one thing I'm not dealing with is a sick kid. GO ME and my magic milk.
• I joined Weight Watchers. So far, I'm down 6.2 lbs. The sickness booster worked. Too bad my appetite is back with a vengance.
• Tomorrow is my Lasik evaluation. I'm all grow'd up and not scared of the laser now, Ma.
• In addition, my son bit me with his new fangled teeth. Dammit it hurt. I cried, I'm not going to lie. Now I nurse in anticipation.
• Did you know nipples could turn purple?

I know no one wants to hear about my perils of breastfeeding. I get it. Most of my (5) readers don't even have children. But, it's my life and thus, I'm writing about it. Believe me, it's only the tip of the iceburg so consider yourselves lucky.