2008: A Retrospective

I'm not entirely sure I used "retrospective" correctly in the title, but I'm all for throwing around big words like I know what I'm talking about.

Overall, 2008 has been, by far, the best year of my life. Let's face it, I pretty much hit the trifecta of all trifectas. To review: In May, I found out the love of my life and I had reproduced a mini-us. Since I think C is darn near perfect and he likes me alright I suppose, the idea of bringing a baby- OUR baby- into this world has brought us more excitement and confusion and fear and love, love, love than two people should be allowed. In July, we bought our first house. I'm pretty sure it will forever be a work in progress, but it's our home. In October, we joined our hearts forever in marriage. Better late than never, though I really couldn't have imagined it any other way. Except for maybe being several pounds lighter, but sometimes life just doesn't give you everything.

The thought of all we've achieved in 12 short months makes my head spin- but in the I've-sucked-too-much-helium-and-I'm-not-sure-my-feet-are-still-on-the-ground kind of way. I've been trying to sit and reflect on it all, but it never fails that my brain shifts to something I need to do right that very second. I've never been very good at reflecting.

Sure, there have been valleys mixed in with our mountain tops, but I have faith that this man of mine and I can get through just about anything. Faith is a very important thing to me. I have faith that I will figure a way to be a good mother and wife. I have faith that though I may not be Betty Crocker, I'm finding my way around the kitchen- I just needed a second.

I have wonderful girlfriends who have been next to me through this wild ride of 2008, too. These girls have calmed my nerves, been my lifeline and my biggest cheerleaders. I hate the miles between us and even though we may not talk as much as we used to, I know they're only a phone call away. And they know the same goes for me... basketball belly and all.

And so, 2008 ends. The coming of a new year always excites me because it's a chance at change- out with the old and in with the new. I can't imagine topping 2008, but I have a feeling 2009 just might give it a run for its money.

Happy New Year, Internet.


It kind of pisses me off that the baby over in my sidebar is just happily spinning around at 13 days til birth. C'mon people! Let's face some reality, shall we? Ain't shit spinning in my belly right now except the butterflies!


The Night's Just Right

I thought, for once in the recent past, I'd actually write without having a doctor's appointment prompting me with news. Not counting today or the day of, my son will be here in 13 days. Lucky number 13, forever yo. My coworker said, "But what if his birthday ever falls on a Friday?!" Eh, it'll make him tough.

Lately my response to people telling me not to do something has been, "What's it going to do- make him come out?" At this point, it would be emergency surgery, but what I wouldn't give to have my hips back. It almost ticks me off that I'm going through all this "natural" childbirth pain- the normal stuff that happens to everyone- for naught. I've been lamenting to C about not being able to hold a 27 hour labor over his head, but I guess having a scar is just about as good. If "good" is even the right word.

The only part I'm anxious about is the surgery- just because it is major abdominal surgery and let's face it. I haven't been admitted to a hospital since I was five years old. My mother the health nazi will have me doing sit ups and walking several miles as soon as she possibly can, so I'm not too worried about the recovery. I'm a little worried about the possible harm I may do her, but that's the risk she runs.

Here's something I haven't told anyone-- we have a semi-complete nursery! We bought a crib and dresser and my beautiful bedding is all ready for my baby boy! C bought me a glider for Christmas that will be perfect for mid-night feedings and we replaced the ceiling fan. I'll take some pictures after I get the valances hung. Nothing is on the walls yet, but I'm working on it. Well, I will work on it at some point.

In all appearances, we're ready for the baby. A place for him to lay his noggin, a place to rock him, a place to change his stinky hiney, a place to swing him and a seat for him in the car. (My sister and mom bought us the carseat/stroller combo for Christmas.) And clothes- lots of precious little clothes, thanks to my dear friends. I've washed and folded just about everything I need, so now we wait.

All this talk inspired me to buy some Todd Snider. I've had some difficulty downloading it, but hopefully Amazon will be snappy in remedying my problem. I also bought Rodney Crowell's Sex and Gasoline. I guess I was feeling a little militant or something. So far, I highly approve of S&G.

I'm not doing a darn thing today and I almost feel guilty for it. I reckon it'll be ok, right? We have NO plans for NYE and I'm pretty ok with that. We'll probably buy some fireworks and try to light the world on fire. Yeehaw.

Whatever your plans are, please be safe. My hope is that all of my angels will have a kiss on NYE and a smile. Happy 2009... I'm positive it will not be boring.


37 weeks.

I saw my doc this morning. Word on the street is that I'm tentatively scheduled for a 01/13 c-section around noon. I say "tentatively" because they're going to confirm it with the hospital on Monday. It's not exactly the route I wanted to go, but since my son has chosen to be stubborn, it appears to be the way things are going to be. The baby is still breech and as of Tuesday, weighed 7lbs 13oz-- putting him on track to be a whopping 9lbs+. His head measured 41 weeks already, so even if he were to turn (which I don't anticipate), the chances of me being able (or wanting to) squeeze that giant melon out are slim.

I'm not thrilled, but it'll be fine- and probably for the best all around. She checked me for dilation, but she said I'm closed up tight. Yay. She could feel his little butt "right there" though, which explains the WONDERFUL kicks to my hoo-ha. I'm seriously waiting for a foot to pop out!

Christmas Eve and Day were great around here. This afternoon we've been playing with our new stuff, including a game camera, pressure washer and my travel system (stroller/carseat combo). I can't wait til the last one is full of baby fat!! 17 days or bust!!


36 weeks and some change...

I had another sono today to check his size since he was on track to be a 9lb baby. His head is still large-- I'll be 37 weeks on Friday and his head is measuring 41 weeks. My vagina called an audible at that news. His belly is like 39 weeks and his femur is 37 weeks-- Clint's calling him Hoss Cartwright (from Bonanza). He only weighs 7lbs 13 oz right now, though. He's not THAT big....

He's also still breech. Yay me. The sonographer said there was plenty of fluid left for him to turn, but I'm not hopeful. Apparently he rather likes having his head under my left boob. Figures. Men. Other than that though, he was perfect. My mom went to the appointment with me so the lady took a little extra time and showed her all sorts of views. We tried and tried to get a good shot of his face, but ended up only getting the cutest pouty lips and perfect little nose. The picture is frameable it's so cute! He's also a pro at breathing already. It was so cool watching his little diaphram move up and down. Oh! And hair! He's got hair!

After that we toured the hospital, which I learned is a "breastfeeding hospital" (Trinity Mother Frances). There is no nursery (they stay with mom the whole time except for baths and the circumcision) and they don't even give the babies a pacifier. They really, really want the baby to go straight to the boob- which I'm all for. She also told me about the C-section route since that was the first thing she said after I said he's still breech. "Sounds like a 'section to me". I'm ok with either, actually... I know I'll recover and I just want the baby to be healthy. I'm not scared of the surgery, but I guess I do kind of want to experience contractions and pushing and all that someday.

I see my OB on Friday to discuss the results of the sono and to have my first internal (check see if I've dialated any). I'm anticipating that she'll either schedule an induction or a c-section for after the first of the year. I hope so, anyway... I just need a plan- for my sanity, you know?

I haven't had any real contractions, I don't think. I've actually started having noticeable Braxton Hicks last night and today. I don't know how painful the real things start out as, but last nights were on the cusp of painful and came about every 10 minutes for an hour. I think I was just a little dehydrated, though.


I love the internet.

In my last post, I shared that I had won that adorable monkey onesie.

Well, today, I found out that I won this gorgeous ornament storage box via Design Mom's 12 Days of Christmas giveaway! And honestly, when I saw that they were being given away, I lusted after them, but decided that even at the sale price of $99, they were just too rich for me. I did just buy some cheap ornament storage boxes from Lowe's over the weekend, but this is so much prettier!

Also, I received my most recent cute baby purchase:

I can't wait to squeeze his big head in it.



If you start peeing your pants just go to the hospital, okay? Just go.

Now's when I confess that I'm more than a little scared I won't know when it's "time". Sure, there are all sorts of things that are "supposed" to happen, but guess what- they don't always. Apparently, it's not always like on tv. How will I know that my back ache is actually "back labor"? Or, like today, if my super hard belly is a contraction or just my child in a ball (still don't know)? I've never done this birthin' business before and I think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, so what if I confuse contractions with heartburn? I should also mention that I live a solid hour away from the hospital. Forty-five minutes if I'm coming from work. So, some people prefer to "labor at home" until they're really going good. Me? I'll probably be in labor for three days before I realize it and I'll have the baby in the floorboard of the Camry. Nice mental image, eh?


This morning, I got an email notifying me I'd won this adorable onesie from the Etsy Baby Blog giveaway! Yay for PeaPie!


AND, I just got word that the art I commissioned for my kitchen is finished! Too bad the kitchen isn't!


Reason for the Season

Several years ago at the height of my "Texas Music Discovery", a website was developed for all of us to get together and talk about the tunes and artists we had fallen in love with. That site, called Galleywinter, has now grown by leaps and bounds and has well over a 10,000 members and over 50 individual forums.

I say all that to say this: One of the "founding fathers" of the site has fallen on some really rough times. Last week, he lost his job to this damn economy and just yesterday, while at a job interview, he returned home to find his apartment burglarized and all of his belongings (including Christmas gifts) stolen. Jon Paul has poured more than his heart and soul into this music industry we love and for someone to steal his joy and his very livelihood just really, really stinks. You see, he is an incredible web designer by trade and the bastards even stole his computer which really leaves him up a creek.

When I heard the news this morning, my first thought was what I could do for him. Not what gifts to buy for my own family, but rather if my family would mind if I gave to JP instead. If you're inclined to help someone with a heart bigger than Texas, please follow this link, read the story and click to Donate. Just think, if all the members of just that website donated $1, we could raise $11,000 which would surely help the Christmas cheer!

Thanks in advance, if for nothing more than happy thoughts for JP and his family.


Behold - 35 weeks

You know you're huge when maternity shirts no longer cover the belly. C says I look like a plumber!


Blaming the Baby

Warning: boring baby talk ahead.

I'm really trying not to be neurotic. I'm honestly trying to just be calm, cool and collected and just go with the flow. But. Somehow, that's just not working out for me.

I'll be 35 weeks on Friday, which means I'll have five weeks left IF I make it til my due date. Big "if", in my opinion, but what do I know? Anyway, at my last scan, they estimated his weight at 4lbs, 6oz (32 weeks). Assuming his weight will about double by birth, that means I'm going to push a damn near 9lb baby boy out. Drugs, anyone?

So, I've been having this internal arguement with myself about what size clothes I need to get ready for him. A sidebar about myself is that I HATE pulling tags off clothes (or anything for that matter) that I'm not going to use. C makes so much fun of me for leaving tags on clothes until the moment I wear them, because you just never know if I'm going to take them back. I just hate being wasteful, you know? So, here I've got these adorable newborn clothes that my extra large kid may not even fit into. Do I wash them anyway, just in case? Do I wash the 0-3 month clothes, too? It's been a real tough few weeks in my head- to the point of avoidance.

Last night, the clouds parted and angels sang though. My sister-in-law sent two bags of barely used hand me downs from her 6 month old boy. Problem. Solved. I'll just use her clothes until I know what size my chunky monkey will actually wear! Seriously, this sounds like nothing, but I'm so grateful! (Wow, this really is boring baby talk. I apologize.)

Today, it's been hard just to keep my eyes open at work. My maternity t-shirts no longer cover my whole belly. You know you're huge when MATERNITY clothes no longer fit. He's been moving an awful lot the past few days, but I don't think he's turned yet. I swear he was laying "transverse" (across my belly) on Sunday, but I think he's back to butt down now.

But I'm pretty sure I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.


Just another day

I know I owe you an update. And eventually I'll get there. Right now I'm just trying to be ok with not being everything for everyone and failing miserably at perfection. Hormones (and the lack thereof) blow.