Brothers.

35 weeks

I think we're doing alright here at 35 weeks.  I've slowed down a lot and my husband picks up a ton of slack.  But, all in all, I'm ok. 

Carter is almost 19 months old.... unbelievable.  He's grown so much and is such a big boy.  I'm so proud and just a little bit smitten.  I sure hope Small Fry measures up!

dance, dance, dance

Oh 20's, you were a necessary evil weren't you? 

10 years ago today, I was turning 20.  What a pointless birthday that is.  Nothing good happens at 20, besides the fact that you're no longer a teenager.  My early to mid twenties are a blur.  Lot's a drinking and music and miles.  There were bad decisions and there were better ones.  My twenties were full of girlfriends and laughter and good times.  And then, my twenties changed my life by bringing two magical men into my life.  Marriage and birth at 28.  That was a great year.

And now, 30.  On the cusp of another birth, another male to love.  My past has been void, but now it seems... full.  Men come from me.  They need me.  They fill my life with love and laughter and worth.  This life is a funny journey, for sure. 

The grey hair comes with aches.  The energy goes.  It's all a dance.  And it's one I hope to continue for a very, very long time.  Until I can dance no more.

Seventeen Months

You are JOY, little boy. 

You live each waking hour with such zest and energy that I envy.  When I sing "diaper, diaper" (to the tune of Dora's "backpack, backpack"), you run to our bedroom for a diaper change.  You say and do things all the time that only I see and then you refuse to replicate them for your dad.  It makes me look silly, but I know the truth.  Your daddy can get giggles out of  you that I can only dream of, but when it's time to snuggle you are mine. 

You've been sick twice in two weeks now, most recently with your first stomach bug.  I always considered us lucky that we'd made it this long without checking off that experience and thankfully, it appears to be a light one.  I hate when you don't feel well because I know how miserable it is, but I do love the cuddling and snuggling and mama time that I get.  You're too busy on normal days.

For several months, we've had a bedtime routine of pajamas, milk, then rocking to sleep in your room.  As soon as your dad or I carry you to your room, your head is on our chest before we can even take a seat in the glider.  I relish those moments but I'm afraid we've created a monster that will soon cause us all severe grief.  We never should've started rocking you to sleep because now it is near impossible to stop, but we will... eventually. 

You are perfection.  You don't even have a freckle!  I asked a dermatologist when things like that will appear and he said around age two.  I love your smooth, perfect skin and I have a bottle of SPF 55 ready to go for our outside fun. 

I wish I could put the love into words.  The joy I feel when you look for me.  The exuberance of feeling your little hand in mine.... like a big boy now, not a baby.  As you grow, I can only hope that we can teach you love and tolerance.  Patience and kindness.  Peace and the knowledge to make good decisions.  Hope and big dreams.  Acceptance and humility.  And always grace.

Seventeen months have flown in an instant.  Slow down, little one.  The world will always be waiting.

15 months - A view from a cell phone

Today I took Carter for his 15 month well-baby appointment (albeit 2.5 weeks late).  The term "well baby" is used loosely as he's on antibiotics for a potential ear infection (caught early with just a little fluid in the ears) and has a horrid cough.  But, he was well enough for FOUR shots and a blood draw.  Congratulations, kid!  To celebrate, here are some fun facts from Carter.

• He weighs 25lbs 11oz (60-something percentile)
• He's 31.5" tall (57th percentile)
• His head is 19" (77th percentile)- he's still on track to be presidential.
• He has a 100 teeth.  Not really, but currently he has all four incisors coming in.  Hopefully that will be all until his 2 year molars.  He can't just cut one at a time- they ALL have to come in at once. 
• He still naps twice a day, though I've noticed his morning naps have been shorter lately.  Except on Sunday.  It lasted for 2.5 hours. 
• This past weekend, he slept til almost 9am before demanding attention from his parents. 
• We rock him to sleep every night and let me tell you, as bad of a habit that is to start, it makes for some of the sweetest moments when he finally gives up for the day.  But the flip-flopping and wiggling getting there is getting very old.  Especially when mom's lap is disappearing. 
• He loves his juice (either flavored water from Target or 2oz Gerber juice and the rest water) and will drink 4-5 sippy cups a day.
• He's still attached to his noodle (pacifier), but I'm not fighting that battle just yet. 
• He says all sorts of things now- Mama, Daddy, doggy, hi, bye, bock-bock, quack-quack, ball (bah), this (dis- when pointing), uh-oh and thank you.  I will forever pride myself on the fact that thank-you was his first real word.  He says it with accuracy, too.... especially when he's coming to take something you have! 
• He can sign "please" and give/blow kisses.  Wet, open mouthed mwah's!

I haven't taken nearly enough "real" pictures, so I thought I'd share what my cell phone captures.  Yes, there are a lot of car seat pictures, but that's really the only time he holds somewhat still.  That, and I love to watch him sleep...

04/04/2010

04/09/2010

04/10/2010

Hello?

Hammy - 04/15/2010

(These were from last week's "sick day".  Yeah, notsomuch.)

First "real" boo-boo.  He fell on the fireplace.  A+ parenting

04/17/2010

This is what four shots and a blood draw will do.

04/19/2010

This ain't no place for the Weary Kind...

My kid surprises me all the time.  Just for fun a few weeks ago, I said "Carter, where's your ball?" and you know what he did?  He stopped what he was doing and started looking for a damn ball.  "Ba ba ba ba", he exclaimed once he found one. 

That is so cool.  I had never thought about the day he could actually comprehend.  Now, I tell him the names of stuff all the time.  Light, doggy, truck.  We wave bye-bye to diapers when they go in the Diaper Genie.  He turns off the lights when we leave the room.   We do the HotDog Dance every morning.  He is the coolest kid I know.  Who knew parenting would be so fun... this quickly.

Pioneer Woman asked a question for a giveaway today that's really had me thinking.  More or less it was "How different is your life now than how you originally pictured it"?

It's a question that doesn't come with an easy answer.  When I was in college, I wanted to work in downtown Dallas in a skyscraper and do buisnessey things.  And I did.  I never really thought about the rest of it, I don't think.  But.

I'm married to the man who took my breath away upon meeting him when I was only 16.
I'm pregnant with his second child.
Being a mother is a job I was made for.  This love.... it's indescribable.
Being a wife is something I try very hard to be good at.
Turns out, it doesn't matter if I do perfect laundry or cook fabulous meals.

Love and respect... and time.  Those are what matters.

Here's my heart...

Numero dos.

Now that I have THAT out of my system...
(well, not out of my system, because I'm still knocked up, but, oh well, youknowwhatImean)

• I'll be having a repeat C-section, so my baby will come in August whether he or she likes it or not.
• I will spend the summer in a cheap pool from Walmart.  One for Carter and one for me, Mama Whale.
• I switched doctors for this pregnancy and so far, am very happy with my choice.
• With Carter, I had no morning sickness, heartburn or even nausea. 
• This baby, so far, has a knack for the queasy, but I haven't thrown up... yet.
• It's good though, because I've also only gained like two pounds. 
• (Where is that belly already?)
• Carter doesn't know his world is about to be turned upside down.
• Everyone says it will be fine.  He and the new baby will be best buds.
• I worry, though.  I tell C all the time that I don't want Carter to be slighted.  I don't want him to ever feel like he's in second place or that we don't have time for him anymore. 
• He assures me he won't be. 
• I trust him.  Completely.

344.5

His legs are getting longer.  New clothes fit, time to box up the not-so-old ones.  When did that happen?

His hair is unruly.  Straight with a preference for straight.  Sometimes with a little added straight.  Where did he get it?  Me, I'm sure.  Like everything else.

His hands slap against the floor as he giggles and moves so quickly.  Slow down, little one.

He is ticklish, just about everywhere if you catch him at the right time.  His squeals are delicious.

Speaking of delicious... his toes are edible.  And his thighs.  And the palms of his hands.

I'll kiss those hands even though they're covered in dirt and juice and germs.  I don't care.  A thousand times over, I don't care.

Time will move so quickly, they told me.  From the first moment, they were right.  Where did my wrinkled baby go?  The one who had such an appetite but couldn't eat?  When did those dark days filled with bili-lights end?   Where did the feet that filled those tiny socks disappear to?  Replaced now by toddler feet, anxious to explore the world?

The world awaits.  And yet, I hold him just a little bit tighter.  And a little bit longer.  Until he insists on going after it. 

He's growing up and I'm not ready.  I ache. 

No one told me about the ache.

Wishful Dreaming

I wish I'd taken more pictures of myself when I was pregnant. I loved being pregnant. I loved being rotund and awkward and out of breath. Maybe because I had an excuse to not be skinny or maybe because the belly absorbed anything extra around my middle (also promptly left it in it's wake). I loved it even in the very last moments. Carter was breech, so I was accustomed to rubbing his head or back in my belly. I loved trying to figure out what body parts I felt. I loved feeling him move, even when he woke me up in the middle of the night. The pain in my hips and back is a distant memory, because I remember the love I had for the belly.

This is the last picture before he hatched. 12/25/2008 - 37 weeks

I wonder if it will be the same the second time around. (I'm not, yet.) I wonder if chasing a baby will make me loathe a belly. I wonder if I'll have morning sickness or high blood pressure, next time.


I'm getting ready, y'all. I ain't getting any younger, you know.

Monday Muse

From the Story People.

This is getting embarrassing.

I'm sorry, I appear to have fallen off the face of the earth. I'm back- at least with one foot- for a moment.

• My child is almost NINE MONTHS OLD. Seriously! Where is that pause button already? I feel like it wasn't even me living it.

• He's trying desperatly to crawl. So far, all he's managed to do is perfect his rolling skills. Wiggle, wiggle, roll. Next thing you know, he's on the other side of the room.




• C is convinced he's going to crawl or walk or start doing multiplication while he's in Colorado the second week of October. So, he spends an hour or so every evening urging him to crawl NOW. C is very disappointed our child is the last to crawl. He was the last to roll over and sit too- doesn't he see the trend? What? He came two and a half weeks early!




• Carter's a biter. Yesterday, a baby took the toy he was playing with, so he bent down and bit that baby on the toe. Take that, crawling toy stealer.




• Sleep comes at a premium in our house, meaning Carter gets as much as he wants while mom and dad.... don't.




• Remind me to tell you about Shiner.

• Scentsy has been going good. I'm shocked that total strangers have found me and ordered. I'm really not good at selling things, but so far it's worked out swimmingly! Now if only I can stop buying for myself. I'm running a Holiday layaway plan, but you probably got that memo, didn't you?




• My anniversary is next week. This time a year ago I was wishing the wedding would just go away. Now, I'm not six months pregnant and have much more energy. My days are filled with the faces of angels. What a difference a year makes...




• Speaking of, I put out the call on Twitter for anniversary gift ideas.... Anyone else? Bueller?

Recently...

Thank you, God. He makes my heart sing. Can't you hear it?

This is how we do it....

I am absolutely in love with this crappy camera phone picture from Saturday. I think it's so sweet and such a representation of our relationship. Me, as the host and him... as the baby leech.



Just look at that thigh. Nom.






*I am also very embarrassed that it has been so long since I've posted. More is coming soon. Pinky promise.

Playing Hard (another Etsy post)

I'm spoiling my child. I don't buy him tons of expensive clothes, in fact, his first three months were spend almost entirely in hand-me-downs. He wears Walmart onesies with pride. I don't own shoes that fit him (who needs 'em?). But I do want him to have nice things. Nice things he can give to his kids someday. Nice things I can put on a shelf after he's lost interest. Nice things not made in China of plastic. Nice things like the ones I'm spending entirely too much money on, but consider it an investment... in him and his happiness. And in the earth... can you see my slightly light green glow?

Last week it was the art for his walls and this:






















Today, it's these.
























I'm in love.

Time keeps on slippin' into the future...

Why do I expect people to read this thing when I NEVER WRITE? Maybe I need to go on a binge where I post ever day for a week or a month or something. My life doesn't have an "off" switch anymore where I have 'downtime' (which is why I mainly end up posting at work). I managed to work on a few pictures yesterday in between playing and nursing since I know they're a hit. But first, a few highlights.

Carter will be FIVE MONTHS OLD on Wednesday. That just blows my mind.

We are BEYOND blessed to have such a happy, healthy, beautiful baby. I give thanks daily. This life is amazing.

He still has YET to roll over, except the (fluke) at 3 months.

We left him for the first time Memorial Day weekend. We went to Baton Rouge for a wedding and he stayed with Papa and Nana (C's parents). He was an angel (of course!) which made being away bearable. I only called once, but Dad called about 15 times to check on him.

Last week we had a six day poop standoff. Thankfully it ended at daycare (the day I bought "supplies" to remedy it) and not at home.

I keep saying we're going to try cereal and then we get busy and time slips away and we don't. Maybe next weekend.

He's officially teething and his finger is his favorite teether. I try to give him other (frozen) stuff, but nothing works as good.

He's also a part-time thumb sucker. Cutie-patootie.

Many apologies for not organizing a Dallas lunch when we were there this weekend. We got a late start, had a rough drive there and back and barely had time to get a visit with Heather and Cori.

He loves his toes... if the boy's on his back, he's guaranteed to have his legs in the air grabbing those toes. Double cutie.

The picture of Carter and daddy was the sweetest thing I think I've ever seen. It's a little blurred because it was so dark first thing that morning, but who cares. I love those boys.

Oh- the bouquet and sole picture of me is from my first Mother's Day. I am loved.

Our flooring is 99.99% finished... we were one board short. Isn't that the luck? We need some for scrap anyway, so another few boxes will be purchased. It looks divine. I'll take pictures and post them someday... sooner rather than later.

Happy Monday to me!

(I'll write about my first Mother's Day later.)

I went to a baby shower for C's cousins a month or so ago and all the ladies had necklaces that either had their childs name or picture or something on them. I felt left out. Of course, some of their jewelry was big and gaudy which is so not me. I got home that afternoon and did a search on Etsy to see what I could find and bookmarked quite a few sites, but kept coming back to one I loved called sTuck in the coop.

Fast forward to a week or so ago- the artist posted a contest on her blog for a $25 store credit and guess who just found out she won? That's right, this girl! And what did I choose?



Of course, it will have Carter's name and birthstone (garnet). I'm so excited I could just pee. Speaking of pee (and if you follow me on Twitter you already know this), the phone rang last night as I was in the middle of changing his diaper on the bed. Since he likes to "air it out" sometimes, I left him with a clean diaper under his butt "just in case" and ran to take C the phone. When I returned, my happy baby was still laying there with the clean diaper under his butt- and pee all over the bed. All over the side, the bed frame and the floor. My sweet little pisser that he is, all I could do is laugh. And to make it even better, we have no spare sheets for our bed. I bought C the ones we have now for Christmas a couple of years ago after tiring of his Walmart scratchy sheets. Looks like I'll be buying some more in the VERY near future, like TODAY!! ORDERED!

Wow, I derailed my own post didn't I? It wasn't supposed to be about ME or my BABY (AGAIN, anyone?), but about sTuck in the Coop! Go shopping, girls!

Etsy=Love

This is on it's way to me...

Rebound

This is going to sound silly, but sometimes I forget that I'm a mom. Let me clarify by saying, I KNOW I have a kid and I can't forget that, but the title is what I forget. Like routine questions when you meet someone new- "Do you have any kids?" My first reaction is to say "Nope! Not yet" but uhhh, I do.

Mother's Day is coming up and I'm trying to decide what to do for my mom and MIL. I forget that for the first time in my whole entire life, finally I'm included. Last Mother's Day, I had just found out I was pregnant and no one knew except C. I'm fairly certain a snide comment was made about how I'd never have children and I remember it being very hurtful knowing I was carrying a teeny baby in my womb. I thought, "Just wait til next year!!!" And now, here I am. A walking, talking M.O.M.

I've got stories and pictures and circles under my eyes. I've got pee'd on clothes and drooled on shoulders. In fact, just this morning, I got snotted on for the first time. (It was gross, trust me) I've got tubes of dirty diapers from the Diaper Genie and poopy clothes from daycare. All of that and the cutest, sweetest baby in the world.

I don't want to discount my life before the baby, because I had a really good life, but man. This is the good stuff. This is what I've been waiting for. This is... it.

2008: A Retrospective

I'm not entirely sure I used "retrospective" correctly in the title, but I'm all for throwing around big words like I know what I'm talking about.

Overall, 2008 has been, by far, the best year of my life. Let's face it, I pretty much hit the trifecta of all trifectas. To review: In May, I found out the love of my life and I had reproduced a mini-us. Since I think C is darn near perfect and he likes me alright I suppose, the idea of bringing a baby- OUR baby- into this world has brought us more excitement and confusion and fear and love, love, love than two people should be allowed. In July, we bought our first house. I'm pretty sure it will forever be a work in progress, but it's our home. In October, we joined our hearts forever in marriage. Better late than never, though I really couldn't have imagined it any other way. Except for maybe being several pounds lighter, but sometimes life just doesn't give you everything.

The thought of all we've achieved in 12 short months makes my head spin- but in the I've-sucked-too-much-helium-and-I'm-not-sure-my-feet-are-still-on-the-ground kind of way. I've been trying to sit and reflect on it all, but it never fails that my brain shifts to something I need to do right that very second. I've never been very good at reflecting.

Sure, there have been valleys mixed in with our mountain tops, but I have faith that this man of mine and I can get through just about anything. Faith is a very important thing to me. I have faith that I will figure a way to be a good mother and wife. I have faith that though I may not be Betty Crocker, I'm finding my way around the kitchen- I just needed a second.

I have wonderful girlfriends who have been next to me through this wild ride of 2008, too. These girls have calmed my nerves, been my lifeline and my biggest cheerleaders. I hate the miles between us and even though we may not talk as much as we used to, I know they're only a phone call away. And they know the same goes for me... basketball belly and all.

And so, 2008 ends. The coming of a new year always excites me because it's a chance at change- out with the old and in with the new. I can't imagine topping 2008, but I have a feeling 2009 just might give it a run for its money.

Happy New Year, Internet.