Since the election, I've had a blog post I've been wanting to write, although somewhere along the way, I ran out of time and steam. It was going to be honest and proud and offer the question of "what the hell were you thinking" to some of the people whose comments I've been less than impressed by in the moments since Obama's win. I was going to say that I was even growing weary of the "change" anthem until I realized- it's not about a black man or history or civil rights or any of those really, really great things. It's about doing things differently than we've done them in the past. It's about hope, which is something this country really, really needs. In case you haven't noticed, we're in the shitter, both domestically and in the eyes of the rest of the world. And frankly, that's not where the "greatest country in the world" is supposed to be. Maybe "hope" to some is about a black man, but to me, he's a leader who realizes what a daunting task he has in front of him. And it's hope for my unborn child to be born into a country with the future on its side. So, be you a red or a blue, I think we can all agree that things need to change around here. There's that word again- which I guess is why it's been so over-used in this election. Like I told my husband, there's four years locked up now for things to go differently and it's not going to be easy. But democrats have been in control before and guess what- the world didn't stopped turning. It's just one term- four years- and then the republicans can have another shot. Even if you didn't vote for him (and I know some of you passionately did not), he's "going to be your president too". (I just loved that part of the speech.) I voted for Barak Obama- there, I said it. I don't even care if you think that I am the anti-christ for falling for his pretty speeches. I needed something to believe in and for me, he's the man for the job. Me and Obama- Anti-Christs for change.
Somehow in my 28+ years on this earth, I've became a very tolerant person. I understand that some people don't think the way I do and that a lot of people prefer to live with blinders on to the fact that there are other, valid ideas out there than the ones in their narrow little minds. I'm cool with "disagreeing without being disagreeable". I don't force my ideas on anyone, nor do I condemn anyone for their beliefs. However, being tolerant doesn't mean I haven't been angered, shocked and so disappointed in comments I've heard and read by friends, family and acquaintances over this election. That's all I'm going to say, but if you think I'm talking about you, I probably am. Angered. Shocked. Disappointed.
So, look at that, I managed to make my intended post by accident. Now I'll get to my real reason for writing today.
Yesterday I took the day off to take some pictures of my best childhood girlfriend's family while she was in town. I didn't actually have to do that til afternoon, so I took Kit (She's a seven and a half yr old Cocker Spaniel) to the vet first thing yesterday morning. Let me back up and say that she and I had a really bad night Wednesday and I'm embarrassed and ashamed of the way I treated her all because her poor ears were giving her fits. I've treated her like a step-child and that stopped yesterday because I knew my sanity was in danger. Not to mention her life if she didn't stop with the damn dars. So, we made it to the office about 9:30 and didn't leave until 11:30. At least an hour+ of that time was spent with the doctor- this can't bode well, right? Right. It had been several years since she got her shots or had a checkup of any kind, so I told them to give me the full meal deal. Let's just start by saying the only good news I heard was that she didn't have worms. It all goes downhill from there. She needs her teeth cleaned due to some "significant tarter build up and gingivitis", but even that wasn't a big priority by the end of the appointment. Her ears were "typical cocker ears" and while she didn't have mites, she had a pretty raging infection and irreversable damage. So, we're doing a 10 day clean and treat with antibiotics and then we'll go back to see if he can actually see her ear drums. She's also on steroids to reduce the swelling in there. I know she hates the cleanings (which I've successfully done on my own twice now, thankyouverymuch!) but it's for her own good, dammit. Now comes the BEST (read worst) news of the appointment. He started rubbing on her "undercarriage" and all of her glorious 10 (or 13 if you count the strays) titties. He started feeling lumps- or nodules- as he called them, on her the left side. And as nonchalantly as if he were talking about the weather he says, "Yep. That's probably cancer." Now there I was trying my best to love that dog as my own and make her understand that I was really sorry for getting so mad at her the night before and he has to go throw out "CANCER"? Dammit all to hell.
So, I told her daddy last night over the phone so he'd know what to expect when I start asking him what the hell he wants to do. The vet recommends bloodwork and a chest X-ray to see if it spread to her lungs or liver, then surgery to remove it. It will then be biopsied to see if it was the agressive kind or the kind that stays in the mammaries. Adn then.... Ugh. And again I say, Ugh.
Needless to say, I'm not really having a hard time loving her right now. We bonded in that exam room sometime between having her blood drawn and having her ears cleaned and being told she has cancer, just like any other woman could. She needed me in those moments to keep her calm and safe and she counted on me to make sure of it. Once we got home, she was my shadow and hasn't stopped. She's forgiven me and shown that she loves me even though I'm a crazy hormonal bitch. And she still respects my authori-tie.
So there's my news. Our dog has cancer.