Look! Twice in one week!

Still no pictures though.

Bye! See ya, next time! Also, boob talk ahead. Repeat, boob talk ahead. If you are feeling anxious, dizzy or lightheaded please proceed to the nearest exit.


So, remember when I said I had a LASIK evaluation this week? Ohhhh man. I don't even have an expression to effectively communicate what a CLUSTER that was.

I took an entire afternoon off for it. I drove 45 minutes (one way) out of my way for it. And then, I cried all my makeup off after it.

Enough. Here it is.

Turns out, you can't have Lasik if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. No one asked and I honestly didn't think the two had anything to do with each other, so I didn't volunteer it until halfway through the exam when the nurse asked. I assume the only reason she asked is because I mentioned I have a six month old and "GAWD, I can't WAIT to see how bad his eyes will be". Anyway, something about hormones (isn't it ALWAYS about hormones?) affecting your vision and the thickness of your cornea and blah, blah, blah. I'm good with that. Fine as wine in the summertime with it actually. I've been dealing with supply issues from being sick anyway, so why complicate matters by adding steriod drops and valium to the mix?

What I'm not ok with is being completely disrespected for my choice in feeding my child. By a VERY well known doctor- a professional - who couldn't even say the word "breastfeeding". Instead, he referred to it as "that" and, get this, he looked at my boobs everytime he said it. SERIOUSLY.

Here's how it went:

So! We're breastfeeding! I don't know what your timeline is for stopping "that" *glance at boobs*, but I think it's best if we wait to do the procedure when you're done... with "that" *glance at boobs*. I mean, you're going to have to put drops in your eyes every hour and well, it's just not really condusive to doing "that"*glance at boobs*. You're an excellent candidate though and as soon as you're finished with "that" *glance at boobs*, we'll be happy to get you set up for a procedure.

Yeah. He really said and did "that" *glance at boobs*. I've never been so uncomfortable and felt so disrespected in my entire life. Between he and several (female) nurses, everyone in the place knew I WAS BREASTFEEDING. But, we can't discuss it like normal people- noooooooo. We have to loudly whisper about it so people won't hear. We have to ask repeatedly, "You don't know when you're going to quit?" Because it's dirty, right? Feeding my child naturally the way women have done it since the BEGINNING OF TIME*?

I believe my mother said it best: Clearly, his wife never breastfed any of his children... if he even has any.

Ooooh. Burn, Gayle. BURN.



*Please note that I don't care how you choose to feed your child- this is just what I'm doing.

Fruit Salad

You know when you haven't written anything in a while and you think, "I really need to update that thing" but then the baby shits and your husband has reports to work on and you find yourself doing the 100 other things that need doing instead? Yeah. That's where I've been. Doing other stuff.

Other stuff that does not include taking pictures of my child. So, for those who only care about the pictures, you can leave now. He's still cute, you'll just have to take my word for it. I'm a bad, lazy mommy who hasn't documented his six month of life for crap.

Since my last confession:

• Carter has cut yet another tooth. On the top this time. What? Slow the eff down, son.
• He's also sitting. Albeit wobbly- it's definetly a sit. Seriously. Slow the eff down.
• He sat so good yesterday that I let him fall over without catching him and misjudged where his melon would land which resulted in a thud on the not so padded part of the pallet followed by a scream. Followed by a "DO I NEED TO TAKE MY CHILD AWAY FROM YOU WOMAN?"
• I also tried my hand at making baby food yesterday. The faces said it all and what they said was "This shit is disgusting. If you don't watch it, I'll make you wear it again, lady." Yes, I said, "again".
• My nomination for mommy of the year has been revoked.
• I got sick last weekend. Friday night I was pretty sure I was going to die. Saturday, I knew I was. I finally got to the doctor on Tuesday with symptoms completely different from Friday. Two shots fixed my fever... and effectively KILLED my milk supply.
• So now I'm dealing with that.
• But one thing I'm not dealing with is a sick kid. GO ME and my magic milk.
• I joined Weight Watchers. So far, I'm down 6.2 lbs. The sickness booster worked. Too bad my appetite is back with a vengance.
• Tomorrow is my Lasik evaluation. I'm all grow'd up and not scared of the laser now, Ma.
• In addition, my son bit me with his new fangled teeth. Dammit it hurt. I cried, I'm not going to lie. Now I nurse in anticipation.
• Did you know nipples could turn purple?

I know no one wants to hear about my perils of breastfeeding. I get it. Most of my (5) readers don't even have children. But, it's my life and thus, I'm writing about it. Believe me, it's only the tip of the iceburg so consider yourselves lucky.

Teeth!

I had to get opinions from my favorite online community, but I think I can officially say that Carter is the proud owner of two bottom teeth! He's stubborn about showing them, mainly because to him, any finger in his mouth is for sucking. But, I can feel two little sharp edges and catch glimpses of two "tooth holes". My favorite lady from daycare even commented on them today when I called to check on him. "Umm, do you know your baby has TEETH?" "Yep... he can't manage to sit up on his own, but he sure knows how to grow some teeth." She thinks top teeth will follow soon after.

You know what this means, right? It's time to have another baby because mine is growing up.

Calling all Rangers Fans!

Just click "VOTE" below to send my favorite, Ian Kinsler to the big show! (Woodrow, I'm looking at YOU.) Vote for Kinsler as many times as you can between now and Thursday, July 9 at 3:00 p.m. CT and you will be automatically registered for a chance to win a suite for a Red Sox vs. Rangers game, or a three-pack of bats autographed by Ian, Michael Young and Josh Hamilton.

Happy Independence Day!!

State of the Tater Bug

• Monday was Carter's six month check up and shots. He weighed in at 17lbs (46th percentile) which is up a little over two pounds from four months. He measured 27 inches long (76th percentile) which was up a little over two inches. And his noggin, oh the noggin was 18" in circumference which is officially off the charts (96th percentile). He got a glowing review from his pediatrician who I cannot stand and I would expect nothing less.
• It was very satisfying to tell the pedi that he's on 100% breastmilk, and yes I'm keeping up with it just fine. My bruised nipples laughed.
• We started solids (as evidenced by my previous post) a couple of weeks ago. Rice cereal (not a fan), followed by apple sauce, followed by a week long poo strike. I finally broke down and gave him pears which apparently did the trick a day or so later. I won't go into details, but the poops, they are a'changin'. I told C it was time to have another baby because mine was already grown up.
• I want to make my own baby food, I just haven't gotten my shit together yet. Maybe this weekend. I'm also very interested in baby led weaning, but it seems that would require me to actually cook.
• He's officially rolling over (occasionally) and is sitting up for mere seconds at a time before falling over. It will come I'm told. I'm not in a hurry for him to be mobile, but sitting up for pictures would be nice.
• My boy loves his toes. See? I sing Radney Foster's song every single time.

While I was at my mom's a couple of weeks ago, I snagged some shots of me as a baby. I'm younger in these pictures than Carter is now, but it's fun to see how much we look alike. And FYI, the man in the middle picture isn't my dad- that old guy in the top one is.

Sweet Potato Baby

I think he likes them!