I aim to please.

Blame this one on Stan. He said my old template was more "becoming of a sofa" and it hurt his poor eyes on his iPhone. Hopefully this is better?

Recommendations

Since I've divulged my google reader obsession, I thought I'd follow up with some of my favorite new finds. I have lots of photographer blogs that I follow just to gain inspiration, but I won't bore you with those.

• Confessions of a Pioneer Woman - I'm well aware that I've been missing out since oh, 2006, but I've finally given her a shot and oh my gosh. She is my latest blog crush. Recommended: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - the story of how she met and fell in love with her husband.
• Bring the Rain - Nicole first recommended this one to me and it promptly broke my heart. Now, I find inspiration in every post and look forward to it. Recommended: The beginning Oh, and have some kleenex handy.
• Girl's Gone Child - A pretty irreverant look at motherhood.
• better now - because it is. I just love that.
• mackin ink - Diane over at Martinis for Two toasted mackin ink recently and I've been a fan and reader ever since. She's an American living in the Middle East and raising three beautiful girls. Her posts always include great art, too.
• Matt, Liz and Madeline - Thanks for the heads up, Meg. Liz, Matt's wife, died of a brain anneruism shortly after giving birth to their first child. His words, while simple, really show a great deal of love and heartbreak over now having to raise their first child alone. It's another one I read as quickly as possible. Recommended: If you haven't been here before.

So, there's a few to start with. I love new suggestions though. Feel free to leave one of your favorites in the comments. :) TGIF, everyone.

So true

Your goals, your wishes, and your hopes are your own -- you cannot let them be defined by pressures from other people, especially your boss. If you aren't hungry for that corner office, then why pretend that you are? The extra effort will only make you miserable, and there will be no payoff at the end. Remind yourself why you chose the path you chose, and stop focusing so much on a dollar figure. Happiness has nothing to do with a paycheck. It has to do with following your heart.

Now excuse me while I go to lunch with the higher ups. Ugh.

And yes,

I can't seem to leave my blog alone. Maybe this one "suits" me.

My favorite part of the morning

It's logging in and seeing my Google Reader overflowing with new items. Seriously, I don't know how I lived before just clicking random links only to be disappointed that it wasn't updated. Also, the reader shows me other blogs that I might be interested in based on my current subscriptions. That Google...they really have a finger on my pulse, don't they?

The only links I have to click now are Deidre and Woodrow. Deidre's private, so I get that, but W? I guess I just like him that much.

And.... breathe.

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows.

-And So It Goes - Billy Joel

(What it is it about sad songs?)

Silence is deafening.

It started when I was a child. Always trying to do right so as to make sure no one was disappointed in me. I don't know what brought it on, exactly, but I realize that sometime after my father passed, my mom would sometimes get angry at me. She's a wonderful mother, don't get me wrong, but I think it was some of her stress coming out. The stress that she was now doing everything. If I was watching television or sleeping in while she was out working in the garden or mowing the lawn- there would be hell to pay. I soon learned to get up when I heard the mower and start my task of raking the thick grass so it didn't kill what was underneath. I learned to bring her a glass of ice water on hot days when she was outside. All I've ever wanted was to make her happy- to make everyone happy. I don't resent her for this; I guess I felt like making her happy was the least I could do.

Not much has changed except the massive number of people I can disappoint now. I try so very hard on a daily basis to say the right things and do the right things so that no one is unhappy with me. Most days, making a decision is left for someone else because my choice may inconvienence them. I try to point out the silver lining in everything so others can find some happiness, too. I try.

To be honest, it's exhausting. And the trouble is, I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to not care. And what is worse than disappointing someone else? Well, nothing- but disappointing myself is a close second.

I've grown tired of wondering
What I should or should not do
When I'm staring down the silence
Of disappointing you

There's nothing better..

Well, very few things are better than hearing your mortgage pre-approval person say,

"Honey, y'all can pretty much buy whatever you want. Your credit scores put y'all in the top 5% in the nation. For your ages, y'all should be very, very proud."

*big, huge sigh* That was out last hurdle... you just never know for sure until you hear it from a professional.

For lack of a better word...

For the first time in my adult life, I actually give a shit about what interest rates are. I care about the Fed meeting in hopes they're going to cut them. Unfortunately, they're not meeting and rates aren't going down. Can you tell I'm in home-buying mode? The only trouble is that I'm ready to sign my life away, but my better half is having a hard time taking the leap to being a grown up and spending the money to actually have a house of our own. I'm being patient, dammit.

It is a huge responsibility- I get it. So is the rest of my life. It's daily and you get used to it and I bet I'll only get nauseaus once a month when I have to pay the bank that ENORMOUS sum of money. If'n.

Last night, I spent the better part of an hour with the Rangers game on mute (since we LOST) buying songs off iTunes. Here's what I bought. It's ok to admit you dig my tunes. I'm also looking for more suggestions- please and thank you.

• Sail On - The Commodores
• Drinkin' My Baby (Off My Mind) - Eddie Rabbitt (off the album "Great Divorce Songs for Men)
• Kentucky Rain - The King
• Something in the Way She Moves - James Taylor (not the Beatles song)
• Country Road - James Taylor
• And So it Goes - Billy Joel
• She's Got a Way - Billy Joel
• Oh Girl - The Chi-Lites
• Operator (That's Not the Way it Feels) - Jim Croce
• With a Little Help From My Friends - Joe Cocker

Today I'm wearing a "maxi dress", which to me is pretty damn close to a mumu, but it's considered fashionable. I've gotten several compliments already, but it's probably just because they're glad I'm finally wearing something different.

For the third time this week, I've brought my lunch. Twice it's been in a cooler packed with a pb&j sandwich, carrot sticks (with ranch), apple slices and cheese cubes. It's better than fast food, which I'm very tired of. Go me!

I have a doctor's appointment in the morning, so chances are I'll only have to work half a day. Woo-woo! It's practically Friday, bitches. (And Kathy Griffin is on tonight! Speaking of, I made C watch Tori and Dean with me and I'm convinced he's hooked. I had to fill him on the backstory for everything. Next thing you know, he's going to be watching it at his house by himself. ha!)

She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her
She's got a way of pleasin'
I don't know why it is
But there doesn't have to be a reason anyway

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

If I was more Heather and less Sara, I would totally make the run to Dallas for Bingham tonight.

Who am I kidding though? I'll be asleep by 9:30.

So...

I'm still here. There's so much going on, but really nothing to talk about for fear of jinxing things.

• Galveston was great and I have pictures which I'll upload just as soon as I'm home long enough.
• I love short weeks, but damn if they don't end up feeling longer than a regular one.
• Thanks to those of you who sent me birthday wishes. It didn't feel any different than a normal day, especially since I drove over four hours home. But, I'm 28 now and all grown up.... if you only knew.
• I'm considering taking some classes at a local junior college. Maybe they'll get me closer to living my dream.
• Brandon Rhyder had a baby girl yesterday... I can't wait to meet her. Hell, at this point, I'd just love to go to any show. For you DFW people this weekend, Radney Foster is at the Horseman Friday night. Color me JEALOUS.
• My life is a snore. Which now that I mention it, a nap doesn't sound to bad right now.

I am very much looking forward to:




It premiers tonight at 8pm on Bravo. Yippee!!!

Yes, I'm a tv dork.

New year, new look

• There's nothing better than a little change. Don't you agree?
• This evening, C and I are driving to Galveston for the weekend. It's not as good as Mexico, but it's as close as we're going to get this weekend. I know it's a dirty beach, but the hotel has a great pool.
• I feel sorry for the people who will have to see me in a swim suit this weekend. I apologizein advance.
• I received my first gift this morning from a co-worker. Lunch is at noon. Yay!
• My drivers license expires Sunday. I could renew online, but Lord I need a new picture. Does anyone remember me having long hair? Yeah, it was awful.
• Did I tell you I made C a ringtone of a donkey braying ? He thinks that's the best sound in the world - well, maybe not the best, but it makes me laugh everytime he hears one. I have it set as his ringer when he calls me, which prompts me to answer the phone "Hello, Don-key!"
• We're looking at two houses on Monday- with an actual realtor. Yippee!!!!
• Oh, and I'm taking Monday off. I don't have any reason why, pretty much just because I can.
• Happy Graduation, Little Sarah. I promise I'm going to get something wonderful in the mail to you. Or maybe money, which is also wonderful.
• TGIF, internet.
  

Food for thought.

I was listening to an interview this morning with this guy and the interviewer asked him about "chocolate cake and four letter words". This is what he said- as repeated by me.

Think about a Ho-Ho and a piece of chocolate cake. They're both chocolate, but the Ho-Ho is light and fluffy but lacking much substance. It's filled with artificial things that offer no nutritional value.

Now think about a piece of chocolate cake.

It's rich and thick and full of goodness. It's got real ingredients- things with substance.

I think that's how a person's life should be- like chocolate cake. Sure, Ho-Ho's are a great snack, but if you really want something to remember- it's always the cake. Thick and rich and wonderful.

Chew on that. I did... and it was good.

Four more days, people.

We each have a birthday, one time every year
Sometimes they are happy, and sometimes there are tears

But the best I can remember, the best of them I know
Tre the ones that I remember, full of cake, love and bows

-Donna Childree Gotlib

Mere days til I'm 28. Time is flying. Things are changing. I want to put on the brakes yet speed up all at the same time. I could say that it's no big deal- it's just a day like all the rest- but that would be a lie. I love my birthday. I love being celebrated for one single day every year. And this 28th year of my life promises to be the best yet... let's hope the follow through does not disappoint.


Note: Click on the image for a link to where I stole it.